Disney Cruise - tips for future cruisers

My husband and I have cruised before, but this was our first round on a ship with little ones.  It was a far different experience.  We travelled on the Disney Dream in May 2013 with an almost 5 year old and an almost 2 year old.  Here's a few things we learned that may make your trip a bit smoother.

Road trip / Check-in / Boarding
We had 550 miles of car travel in front of us, but fortunately the drive down went pretty smoothly. 

- I bought a Mickey Mouse and a Minnie Mouse gift bag and filled it with road trip presents for each stop.  One stop we gave the kids a dress up Minnie Mouse and a little stuffed Mickey.    When we made it to the hotel the night before we left, the bags held Mickey & Minnie PJs.  Another stop on the way home held toys we bought on the ship.  I reused the bags and tissue paper for each round.  The excitement provided entertainment for the long ride and build enthusiasm for the trip.

- I bought new DVDs for the ride and of course, we were armed with tons of snacks. 

- Make sure you do the online check-in with Disney AT LEAST two weeks before you depart.  I waited until about 5 days before and many options were sold out.  These options include adult dining, nursery childcare, excursions, and the most important - check-in time.

- You are NOT required to wait until your chosen check-in time to arrive at the terminal.  However, after completing your paperwork at the terminal, they will assign you a boarding number based on your check-in time.  Even though we were processed by 10:30am before most everyone else, our boarding group was #39, so we had to wait about an hour before boarding the ship.  Others who arrived after us were allowed to board first because they had registered for an earlier boarding time.

Waiting patiently to board the ship

- You will drop your luggage at check-in and won't see it again for several hours.  Pack a day bag with your valuables, passports and swimsuits.  Once you board, there is a huge buffet available for lunch and then you can hit a restroom and change into your swimsuit before your luggage arrives at your room.

- You will have an option to change your dining time on this first day if you got stuck with a time you are unhappy with.  The options for our cruise were 5:45pm and 8:15pm.

- The nursery and other children's areas will be open to browse on this first day.  The nursery (children 3 and under) requires reservations and is $6/hr.  You may reserve up to 10 hours online before you board, but may reserve more time once you're on the ship.  Space is limited so make sure you grab a spot, especially for adult only dining time.  You will be charged 1/2 price if you have reserved time in the nursery and do not show up, but you can cancel at any time.  They are pretty flexible.

Staterooms
The staterooms are lovely and very space efficient.

- Unpack your suitcases, even if you're only on board for 4 nights.  The drawers and closets are spacious and living out of a suitcase on the floor would drive me nuts!  The space under the bed is empty and high, plenty of room for your suitcases to tuck underneath.  There are hangers available in the closets.  Laundry facilities, including irons, are also available for an extra charge. 

- We opted for a small, collapsible umbrella stroller for our youngest.  Fortunately, he loved it and rode in it everywhere, and it was easy to get through crowds and it folded up nicely and tucked under the bed in the evenings.  We saw lots of people with giant baby strollers and I have no idea what they did with those bulky things in the tight rooms. 

- There is a full size, high quality hairdryer available in the room, so don't waste space in your suitcase bringing yours. 

- While there are several hooks available in the bathrooms, we brought some Command hooks to stick to the bathroom walls for wet bathing suits.  This proved to be very helpful for us.

- There is a mini fridge in your room.  It's the perfect size to chill that pricy bottled water you'll buy or the bottles you snuck onboard.  ;)

- When you first arrive, the top bunk is stowed away in the ceiling.  During dinner, your stateroom host will straighten your room, lower the top bunk and convert the sofa to a lower bunk.  There are also pack-n-plays and diaper pails available to borrow, if you need them.  Just ask your stateroom host. 

So proud of my little ones for sleeping like big kids in the bunk beds

- As with any good hotel, Disney provides shampoo, conditioner, body lotion, body soap bar and face soap bar.  We're not bar soap people, so I can't speak to those, but the others were awesome.  The bottles were plenty big enough to last the whole cruise, and they were of very high quality.  As in produced by Disney's Spa line and a "small" bottle of product from the gift shop would set you back $25.  So use theirs and save your packing space.

- While there is bar soap provided, we also packed a little bottle of pump hand soap - in a Ziploc, of course - for hand washing in our room.  Also, Disney does a great job of cleanliness, including handing out wash wipes as you enter every dining facility, but it is still an enclosed space with over 5,000 people onboard.  We brought our own bottle of hand sanitizer, but I wasn't as diligent with it as I should have been, and sadly I think those strange germs were the culprit to my kids' upset tummies.  So, bring your own hand sanitizer and scrub up often. 

- Bring some plastic grocery bags and gallon ziplocks.  These will be great for packing wet swimsuits or sandy beach toys for your journey home, securing important travel documents while onshore for your excursions, and I'm sure you could come up with plenty of other uses. 

- There are only two power outlets in the staterooms.  We let our cell phones die on the first day and chose to be unplugged for our trip.  We didn't recharge them until the last night.  If your family, however, has a high demand for chargeable electronics, you may want to bring along a small power strip to maximize the outlets.  (Sidenote - This was one of the greatest things I appreciated about the cruise...I saw people more engaged with their families than their smart phones, myself included.  Very refreshing.)

Dining
Disney is focused on making your vacation wonderful for everyone - grown ups and little ones.  They have taken many different measures to make things simple for the children.

- We packed pop top thermos containers for our kids and they lived with them all week.  There are free soda fountains on the pool deck, and we kept their drinks full from there.  Wish we had taken some cups for the hubs and me, as there are no drinks available in the staterooms.  You may buy bottled water to be delivered to your room, but it's quite expensive. 

- Small utensils are available at each dining location.  When you arrive at your main dining room each evening, the table will be set for your family - small utensils where needed, and glasses with lids and straws for young children.  We brought plastic toddler utensils and throw away sippy cups, but ended up not using them as what Disney provided and our pop top containers were sufficient. 

- You will be scheduled for rotational dining in one of the 3 main dining rooms each night.  You are not required to dine there, but it's polite to let your server know your plans the night before.  There is a buffet available on the pool deck for 3 meals a day, and a burger/hotdog/chicken finger joint is also available on the pool deck for lunch. 

- Attire for the main dining rooms is "cruise casual" which basically means no swim suits or blue jeans.  Anything else is suitable.  Other cruises we have been on held a high dress code, but here shorts and a polo shirt are more than acceptable.  Disney knows they are catering to families, not executives. 

Dinner at the Royal Palace

- Adult dining is available at Palo and Remy, but require a reservation, an additional charge, and a dress code.  The charge for Palo is $20/person and I would highly recommend it!  The food and service were wonderful.  Our table overlooked the edge and we pulled out of Nassau at sunset, just as we sat down to enjoy our meal.  If you get a chance to dine there, take it.  Remy is $50/person and did not get the chance to dine there, but I'm sure it's wonderful.

Dessert at Palo

- If you have little ones like mine, bring some small toys or entertainment for the time they are waiting for their food.  Each dinner will include 3 courses, with significant lag time between each course.  There are color sheets available, but that doesn't entertain a tired 2 year old very long.  We snagged two packs of tiny animals (one set of underwater animals, and one set of zoo animals) from Michael's for about $6 each (Hobby Lobby has them as well) and kept each set in it's own little zip canvas bag.  We left these toys in the car at port, and that was my biggest regret of the whole trip. 

- Everything outside of alcohol and specialty drinks is free on the ship, and the servers are very generous.  If you can't decide between two appetizers, order them both.  No problem!

Entertainment
Between swimming, shows, movies, excursions, character visits and the kids' clubs, there is no reason for anyone to be bored!

- No reservations are required for the kids' clubs, except for the nursery.  Just drop them off whenever you're ready.  They have programs going all throughout the day and we usually had to pull our kids out because they were having so much fun.  The counselors are great and do a really great job of making your kids feel at home and loved.  There is even a kids area on Castaway Cay for the kids to run and play while mom and dad relax. 

- There are more towels than you will ever need available on the pool deck, so don't waste packing space on beach towels. 

- The AquaDuck is an awesome water slide that travels all around the pool deck, but the wait can sometimes be 20 minutes or more for a ride.  We found that the best times to hit the AquaDuck were while everyone else was either off the ship during port stops or in the evenings when everyone else was at dinner or a show. 

- The Walt Disney Theater hosts an amazing show every night of the cruise.  They are Broadway quality and you don't want to miss them.  They run twice each night during the dinner rotations, so if you have early dinner you'd eat, then see the show or visa versa.  There are treats (candy, popcorn, canned sodas) available for purchase outside the theater, but we snagged some $1 boxes of candy from the store at home and stashed them in our suitcases for the shows. 

- At Castaway Cay there are tons of little shops with Bahamas souvenirs and sand toys.  The toys they have available will set you back $20 and are nothing special.  The mesh bag they come in says "Disney Castaway Cay" but the toys are not distinctly Disney.  If you have the space in your luggage, bring some cheap sand toys from home.  If they're nasty or you don't feel like toting them home, you can always chunk them on the island. 

Castaway Cay

- For us, Pirate Night fell on the day we were at sea.  Disney provided us with 4 red "Pirates of the Caribbean" bandanas in our stateroom and we saw many people on the ship wearing them that night.  I had planned some simple costumes for our family from home.  Thanks to Hobby Lobby we dressed the whole family for about $10-$15.  Jake the Neverland Pirate had a white tshirt with a "V" cut out, and blue tshirt cut into a vest (cut off sleeves and slit down the middle and ironed on gold rickrack), and white pants I cut up and dyed brown.  Lizzie the Pirate was simply a pink shirt with puffy sleeves (found at Hobby Lobby for around $4) with purple pants we already had on hand.  My husband and I wore solid colored tshirts that I "roughed up" and matching bandanas.  It was suitably fun for me.  Some people went all out, others did nothing.  It's up to you.

Pirate night

- On our trip, the Princesses were available as a big group in the mornings (9-930am) and Mickey and the Gang were available in the afternoons (3-330pm) for pictures and autographs in the main lobby.  Once they show up, a lengthy line will form pretty quick, so I would recommend getting there about 20 minutes early to snag a good space in line.  The characters were also around the ship sporadically, but the big groups are the most "efficient" in my opinion.  My kids were curious to watch them from a distance, but were not overly interested in getting too close.  The characters and the staff were so sweet and fun about the shy ones. 

A brave pose with Minnie Mouse

- There are tons of autograph books available for you to buy in the gift shops for character signing, or you can bring your own from home.  Since I knew my kids wouldn't be overly into the characters and I'm not sentimental enough to hang onto an autograph book, we opted for the picture frame idea.  I bought a frame from Hobby Lobby and a mat to go with it.  I brought the mat with me on the ship and left it with the Guest Services desk on the first day of the cruise.  They took the mat and had all of the characters sign it and then they returned it to our room on the last day of the cruise.  Easy as can be and now we can put a picture from our trip in it and keep it out to enjoy. 

- Be sure to study your Personal Navigator each day.  It is the daily newsletter that will be delivered to your room during your night turn down service.  It will detail everything happing on the ship the next day.  There are tons of hidden treasures, so make sure to read it through.


Have you been on a Disney cruise and have some helpful tips to share for cruisers?  Feel free to leave them in the comments below, or email me and I'll be happy to add them.  Happy sailing! 

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Our Disney Cruise: A Comedy of Errors

Our Disney Cruise vacation...a comedy of errors

Since our children were born, we've never taken an "official family vacation" with just our little family unit.  We have been very blessed to have extended family with beach houses, lake houses, and houseboats, and have spent countless holidays there, but we've never trekked off just the 4 of us.  When Uncle Sam refunded far more to us than we expected this year, we prayed about taking a vacation.  The busyness of our lives just needed a pause.  We wanted to do Disney while Haley was still little and easily mesmerized by the magic, but the thought of the crowds and lines and stroller pushing in the heat quickly became stressful just to think about, so we settled on a Disney Cruise! 

We headed off from Mobile, AL to Port Canaveral, FL in May 2013 toting our almost 5 year old and almost 2 year old.  It's just 550 miles...no sweat!

Saturday, Road Trip! 
The goal: be on the road by 8:30am, make two long stops, be at the hotel in Florida by bed time.  Reality: Jake woke up with a fever.  Great.  He's had a runny (albeit, clear) nose for two days and the night before I caught him tugging on his ear.  This morning he was super grumpy and clinging and temped in at 99.7.  Ugh!  Borderline.  I chatted with a nurse practitioner friend since I'm unable to make a decision.  Selfishly, I wanted to pump him full of Tylenol and tell him to "toughen up, kid! I've got a schedule to keep.  Let's get on the road!"  She advised us to hit the urgent care on the way out of town.  About that time, Haley started whining and I took her temp out of curiosity...100.4.  Great...urgent care it is!   Toby and I prayed on the way for healing.  After burning 45 minutes of travel time in the waiting room they call my kids back for their vitals...98.6, 98.7.  I rolled my eyes and threw my hands up in frustration!  Toby kindly reminded me that we had prayed for healing...oh yeah.  Everybody checked out great, but we hit the Wal-Mart on the way to the interstate to grab some tissues for that running nose.  Wouldn't you know that I never opened them and forgot all about them?  So, we're standing on healing!  I suppose a miracle is more fun than my road trip itinerary anyway!  I'll take it!  Thank you, Jesus!

It's pushing noon and we're finally on the road!  By some other miracle we make it to Tallahassee (243 miles, per Google maps) before we make our first stop.  An awesome Florida friend pointed us to Piggy's BBQ for lunch and it was a booming success.  How about kids eat free on Saturdays (we'll call that favor), a feast of delicious BBQ, and a great pond right out back for stretching and running.  Ok, so not so much a pond as much as a pretty drainage facility, but none the less it was great.  And the perfect spot for the first of our road trip presents!  A little stuffed Mickey for Jake and a dress up Minnie with her own ride for Haley.  They were thrilled and the next leg flew by with the exciting new entertainment. 

New toys at Tallahassee stop

After another stop in Ocala and then making about 10 stops to pay $1 tolls, we finally made it to our hotel in Port Canaveral, pushing 10pm, FL time.  And here I am first faced with my greatest fear of the trip.  Jake has never slept well outside of his bedroom, and since his recent move to the big boy bed, I was terrified of how he'd do here.  After opening their next present - Mickey and Minnie pajamas - we made a pallet on the floor for Jake (I had a great, sturdy, denim picnic blanket in the car...no, I did not let my son sleep on a nasty, bare hotel floor...yuck.)  Thankfully they were so pooped from the trip that they both passed out pretty quick.  All was well until about 5am when J was no longer interested in his new pallet bed on the floor of a strange place.  He never does well about laying down in our bed, he only wants to play, but I figured it was worth a shot.  He climbed in and much to our surprise, he snuggled up next to me and fell back asleep.  And this became his 5am routine for the next 5 nights.  I must say, it's my favorite thing about the whole trip...snuggles and snoozes with my little guy. 

New Mickey & Minnie PJs at the hotel

Sunday, Day 1, boarding day
Excuse me, I believe the nautical people call it "embarkation".  Anyway, we were shooting for pulling up to the terminal by 9am to be one of the first onboard.  However, thanks to the amazing blackout curtains, no one stirred until 8:45.  Oh well, we still made it by 10:30 and went through the whole check-in process with no hiccups. 

Our first shot of the Disney Dream

Our boarding number was #39 and the sweet guy that checked us in wrote it on our card as "#3    9".  Then he showed me how to cover the 9 with my thumb and he winked at me.  Basically, he was telling me to sneak on with boarding group #3.  Hmm...tempting...very tempting.  Toby and I laughed about it, but in the end we decided to stick with group #39, even though it meant an extra hour's wait, just didn't feel right about starting our vacation with a big fat lie...although it would have been really easy to pull it off. 

Waiting patiently at the terminal to embark

We finally get onboard, grab some lunch, check out the digs, head to our room and start to unpack.  We start to get ready for dinner and Toby turns to me, "Where are my pants?"  Hmm...I had just unpacked everything and had a thought, You know, I don't think I saw any pants come through...oh dear.  We retraced our steps and concluded that a communication error had left his pants hanging in the closet...550 miles away.  Commence freak out.  The attire for dinner had been noted "cruise casual" but thanks to my previous cruise experience, I had prepared us to be "cruise fancy".  Well, fancy for our simple world anyway.  And now, Toby had nothing on board but swim trunks, sleeping shorts, and two pair of cargo shorts.  Nice.  Five minutes before we were suppose to be at dinner, he went flying out the door in search of pants, but returned empty handed.  He resigned and sheepishly showed up at dinner in a golf shirt and shorts, feeling like an idiot, worried they wouldn't admit him into the dining room.  He asked an attendant at the door about his attire, to which the angel replied in an awesome British accent, "Sir, this is your vacation.  What you are wearing is fine for dinner."  Thank you Jesus!   We did have plans for dinner the next night at the adult only restaurant, to which there truly was a higher dress code, but after explaining the situation, the attendant returned to our table half way through our meal with a pair of black dress pants, in Toby's size.  Ta-Da!! 

First dinner at the Royal Palace dining room

Monday, Day 2, Nassau
We are not shoppers, my children are not capable of snorkeling, and the idea of no itinerary was appealing, so we chose to stay on the ship on Nassau day.  Thanks again to the amazing blackout curtains, no one stirred until after 8am.  (Note to self...make blackout curtains for kids' rooms.)  We get moving, start getting dressed when Toby hears a nasty come from J's direction.  Per his new pooping routine, Jake went to hide...behind the curtains.  When I grabbed him and laid him on the bed for a diaper change, I discovered the most horrendous, liquid, diarrhea diaper of...his...life.  And he's giggling about it.  We're talking soiled the curtains, the carpet, the sheets on the bed...everywhere.  We didn't even attempt to clean him there but quickly transferred him to the tub for an all out scrubbing.  We were mortified to run into our stateroom host in the hallway and ask him to "please change the sheets...and you might want to clean the carpet...and check the curtains."  Awesome!  The Disney staff was so great.  They never made us feel like an inconvenience, but made every effort to be helpful and make our trip wonderful on every level. 

After that little adventure we had an awesome day swimming, riding the water slide, eating far too many free ice cream cones, and exploring the ship.  Jake finally tuckered out for a nap and Haley and I went to catch Mickey and his gang for some pictures.  Let's just say we never collected one of those picture perfect family shots with Mickey.  Both of my kids were very curious about these large, furry creatures, but no thank you, do not make me get too close.  Surprisingly, when it was our turn, Haley did pose like a statue for 4 of the 6 friends, but refused to acknowledge Goofy or Donald.  Oh well, it was better than a total meltdown.

 Swimming big in the Mickey Pool

Brave picture with Mickey Mouse

Tuesday, Day 3, At Sea
Jake's 5am bed swap came again, but this time instead of snuggling up with me, he opted for Toby.  He cuddled in close and laid his head on daddy's shoulder.  Just as I was thinking, so sweet, I hear gurgling and gagging, and see Toby jump up just in time to avoid catching a stomach full of puke!  Yes, exactly the kind of fun I want to have at 5am!!  Fortunately, Jake felt better after the one wave and went back to sleep easily, but we had to ask our stateroom host to please change the sheets, again.  Thanks to J's adventures I did a load of laundry that morning...the upside was only coming home with 2 days of dirty clothes.  :)  We spent the morning playing putt putt and in the pool and the kids spent the afternoon in the kids' clubs and the nursery.  Freeeedom!!!!  It's what I had been fantasizing about for weeks....alone time with my hubs, on a boat, in the sun.  So, what did we do with this free time?  Slept.  Yes, dropped off the kids, went back to the room, and I was out cold for the next 3 hours.  It was glorious!  I think Toby watched a movie next to me...so, that counts as great together time, right?

Putt putt lesson with Daddy 

Fun in Nemo's Reef splash pad

After break time, we brought the kids back up to the room to get dressed for pirate night.  Haley was not interested, thank you very much.  After 10 minutes of convincing that it wasn't a "pirate costume" but a shirt and pants, and she didn't have to wear the bandana, she finally got dressed and we headed off to dinner.  We got stuck in a storm that night, so the 10:30pm scheduled firework show was cancelled (good thing, there's no way my babes would have been cheerful at 10:30).  We popped by the pool deck and noticed that everyone else was either at dinner or a show, so the water slide was all ours.  Toby carried Haley up the stairs and they rode it 6 times in a row...at 9pm...how awesome are we?!?  Considering one ride usually involved a 20+ minute wait, this was exciting!  Jake and I sat and watched the Lion King on the pool deck and waved to Daddy and Haley as they rode by.  Afterward, we all 4 piled into the bed for a movie...Toby's favorite time of the trip.  They both passed out within 30 minutes. 

Pirate night

Wednesday, Day 4, Castaway Cay private island
Thank the Lord, we did not start the day with any bodily disturbances.  We got dressed, ate breakfast and headed off the ship for the first time in three days, for fun in the sand and sun (well, it was back behind the clouds anyway).  After the 10 minute hike to the sand (tip - take the trolley), we set up camp.  My children cared nothing about building sandcastles with the sand toys I had hauled all the way from Mobile and instead wanted to swim.  I stepped my toes in and concluded that the water was no warmer than 60 degrees, complimenting the overcast skies and strong breeze nicely.  I'm not too much of a sissy and I don't complain much, but I don't care for cold.  No thank you.  So, a cold beach day is not terribly exciting for me.  The kids started turning blue, so we abandoned the beach after about 20 minutes of fun.  We hit the splash pad for a bit, grabbed some lunch and started heading back to check the kids in for another round of fun in the kids' clubs.  And the bottom fell out.  We only had to stand in the rain for 3-4 minutes waiting for the next trolley, but then it dropped us off a good 200 yards from the ship.  I took off my shoes and ran through the puddles, Haley didn't find it quite as amusing.  Toby had Jake wrapped like a mummy in two towels in the umbrella stroller as they ran across the island.  Needless to say, we were all soaked from head to toe by the time we made it back onboard.   By the time we made it back up to our room, the rain had stopped and the sun was beginning to peak through...bummer.  The kids had a warm bath, went off to play and Toby and I were free again!  We went back out on the island to the adult only beach this time, although that was pretty pointless because 3,950 of the 4,000 passengers onboard had already come back to the ship even though we still had over 2 hours left.  With the exception of two ladies in la la land, and 5 or 6 snorkelers that were way out, we had the entire adult beach to ourselves.  It was delightful. 

Haley enjoying the beach at Castaway Cay

Jake checking out the cold water

Ribs and ice cream for lunch...yummy!

Private beach on a private island

We rounded out the night with dinner, a firework show off the side of the ship, and a show.  To say that my boy loves a show, would be an understatement.  As soon as it was over he started frantically signing "more, more". 

 Fireworks!!

Last sunset

Tuckered out babies

Thursday, Day 5, Debarkation day
I do not understand why the cruise industry does this, but you MUST be off the ship at a horrendous hour on the last day.  I'm sure there's a really great reason, I just don't know what it is.  Thanks to the amazing blackout curtains, we were yet to see anything before 8am all week, but this day we were to be out of our room by that hour.  Breakfast was at 6:45...we missed it.  Anyway, thanks to my mad, late night packing skills, our last morning went off pretty smoothly...minus Haley's nasty, upset stomach, of course.  We missed breakfast, but made it through customs pretty smoothly and pulled out of the parking garage at 8:30am.  I was quite impressed with us.  We hit Dunkin Donuts on our way out of town, primarily because we don't have a DD in Mobile and we wanted to compare.  (Just FYI, I prefer Krispy Kreme.)  Although we only made two short stops on the way home, the journey seemed endless for all of us.  Maybe it was the continuous barrage of "Are we home yet?" questions that came from the backseat.  Thankfully, we made it home safely without any complications, and we all were out by 8pm.

Please do not think I am complaining about our trip.  We made some wonderful memories and treasured being unplugged from the world and our responsibilities.  To have 5 days to focus all of our attention on our kids was priceless and we will treasure it always.  I am such a planner, and when things didn't go as I had imagined, there was nothing we could do but laugh about it and go with it.  We'd do it again in a heartbeat! 

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Disney Cruise: Tips for future cruisers

State of the family address

My, my blogger friends...so much to update you on and my apologies for my delay in keeping you all up to speed.  Toby and I are rocking along and are thrilled about the path God has put us on.  Our lives are full. 

Let's take it back a few...years...When we moved back to Alabama from Tennessee, we knew that God had called Toby to go back to school to earn his theology degree and that He wanted us to "work in a church."  That was about all the guidance we were given at the time, so we worked at it as best we could.  After four or five months, God led us to South Coast Church...the perfect family of believers for our little family.  The relationships, encouragement and purpose we have found there are incredible and could only be ordained by sweet Abba's plan.  When we first moved back to Mobile we were looking for a pastor job, looking for someone to give us authority.  After all, God did say He wanted us to work in a church, so we did everything in our power to make that happen...including cold calling random churches on a Google search asking for a job.  While we did get some interesting responses, there was nothing down that road but closed doors.  Once we surrendered that our plan wasn't getting us anywhere, a new verse became our focus:

"For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted."  Luke 14:11

So, when we landed at South Coast we decided to do it God's way...novel idea.  We decided not to pursue a "job" or even a position of influence, but to sit back and let God open doors for us.  The church was meeting in an elementary school gym at the time and we started helping wherever we could.  We showed up for set up on Saturday nights and cleaned toilets, set out chairs, and scraped goo off the gym floor.  After a while, our pastor John asked Toby if he would help collect the offering.  Later they asked me to man the first time visitor table, then they asked Toby to help count the offering and eventually to present the welcome chat before the sermon.  We never once asked for authority, but actively chose to take the position of servant.  We kept our eyes open for any opportunity to help...to take the trash out, to tear down the service on Sunday afternoons, to help with the kids during meetings.  And wouldn't you know, God's way works.  Over time, Toby and I were asked to take on more and more responsibility and we found such great purpose and thrill in being able to serve in that way.  Eventually, we were asked to coordinate the small groups for the church and we have LOVED it.  We love getting to know people, calling people into leadership and seeing them stretch themselves beyond what they think they are capable of.  We love watching people's lives change.  We have seen people exposed to the truth of who God is, some for the first time, have their entire perspective on life shift, and then immediately bring their friends and family to hear the good news.  We have been so honored to serve the Lord and the family of South Coast Church.

Most recently we have been given even greater assignments.  In the fall of 2012 our pastors, and dear friends, came to have dinner with us one night.  We had no idea that would change it all for us.  Before they left for the evening, we had been prompted with the next step on our journey.  Over the following months, Toby accepted the position of Executive Pastor and was ordained by the church, and I began serving as the church accountant.  Keep in mind that Toby is also still working a full time job as an engineer, but our paths and direction were made so clear at this crossroad.  God had used nearly 10 years of education, training and experience to prepare us for this next step.  Toby has received countless hours of training and experience in running large organizations, developing and growing teams, teaching leadership skills, and motivating others...all necessary skills for an executive pastor.  I was a CPA before I chose to stay home when Haley was born.  Now all of the skills I learned in bookkeeping, auditing, and management are coming into play for His Kingdom.

We are thrilled to work together for the advancement of the Kingdom of God and are so humbled and honored to walk the path that God has spent years preparing for us.  And just so you know, Toby has no plans to leave his engineering job in the near future and only lacks his thesis on his Master's Degree.  We are trusting God to provide all that we need (including time management) and are following His guidance one day at a time.

So what about the kids?  Our sweet babies, Haley (4) and Jake (1) have always been home with me.  It is a gift I will treasure for all of my days.  In this season where I am easing back into the "working" world, Abba has been so, so good to all of us.  My work schedule is incredibly flexible, and I am free to work whenever I can.  God has provided the world's greatest nanny to love on my kids at home two days a week.  She adores them, they adore her, they play outside, and go for walks.  She even does some laundry and dishes.  She is a God-send...literally!  This season has been a good transition for the summer when they will both attend a Moms Day Out program three days a week.  Haley is thrilled, and I know they will do great.  Haley starts big kid school in August.  I had to lay down my homeschool world and surrender that God knows me and my family better than I do, and He has led us to the most amazing school.  There is still no news to report on the adoption, but thank you to all of you who have prayed and asked about it.

So that's the latest and greatest on our family and for now, here's a little peak into our world...


The Locklar Family | A Day In The Life from Hampton Road Studios on Vimeo.

Thank you to Matt and Ashley Hampton at Hampton Road Studios for capturing this season of our lives so beautifully.  This video will be a treasure to me forever!

Bread crumbs while we wait...

Well, we've done it...everything in our power toward Ty's adoption.  Our profile has been completed and distributed and now we just wait on word of a match.

Click here to see our profile in its entirety.

Our agency has advised us to spread the word far and wide that we are adopting, because you never know where that baby will come from. So please keep us in mind if you ever hear mention of adoption. Our social worker's contact information is available on the last page of our profile. We also ask that you please pray with us as we wait out the remaining months and that God will clearly bring us to the path that leads to our son, Ty.

I had the opportunity to share pieces of our stories with some moms this morning, and I told one of them that as I look back over the last five years or so, I can clearly see building blocks.  Each new thing God has asked us to do is a little bit bigger than the thing before.  I feel like I can look back and see a pattern...we chose to be obedient, Abba came through bigger and better than we could have imagined, and our faith and trust in Him grew.  So next time, if He asks us to do something even bigger, we can know without a shadow of a doubt that He's good for it.  Not only has He not ever failed me, but Abba always blows my mind with the outpouring of His goodness.  My Jesus never does anything "good enough" or "oh, that will do."  No way, He gives greater than we can ask, think or imagine!

In that spirit, Abba knows that waiting is not something I'm very good at.  Ok really...who honestly likes waiting in the unknown?  Exactly, point proven.  So anyway, when we were on our journey from Tennessee back to Alabama and I felt at the end of my rope, Jesus would always give me what I called "bread crumbs"...a little nugget to cling to, a reminder that He's working on things that I can not see, and that He never has and never will leave me.  This journey has been no different.  Over the last two weeks He's given us a few bread crumbs to cling to...

Last week I toted the kids back and forth to Office Depot with me while we were working to get our profiles printed.  I told Haley that we were making some books to help us bring baby Ty home.  She wasn't really interested in more detail, but was rather satisfied to climb up and down the boxes of paper and push the buttons on the calculators.  (Yes, on that day, I was that mom.)  So anyway, one night while I was working on dinner, Haley was playing with a toy phone and handed it to Toby, "Here Daddy, it's for you."  Toby almost always plays along, "Who is it, Haley?"  Without skipping a beat or even giving much thought she replied, "It's baby Ty's mommy."  Toby and I froze and stared at each other, Haley had already moved on to the next thing.  I thought to myself, why yes, Haley, we are in fact waiting on a phone call from baby Ty's mommy.  I tell you, children have such a strong connection to the Spirit.  Please encourage that in your children and pay attention to the "random ramblings" that come out of their mouths.  They may unknowingly be the keepers of great secrets!

My second bread crumb came a few days ago at the grocery store.  The kids and I were watching our cashier scan our items when a young family came up to the lane beside us.  One little boy, maybe about 2 or 3, climbed out of the buggy without his parents noticing, came over to my lane and tried to be so helpful by handing my cashier an onion in a produce bag.  He was so cute and so sweet and so confused as to why she wasn't taking it.  We both said hello to him and commented to each other about how cute he was.  Then I heard his father behind me in a strong, commanding voice, "Ty, Ty.  Come here!"  They apologized for him bothering us, but I was still in shock at what I'd just heard.  I asked his mother, "I'm sorry, but what is his name?"  She absentmindedly replied, "Tyrese" while she tried to wrangle her three small children.  His dad called his name at least another 5 times before they pulled out of the line next to me to find a faster cashier.  I couldn't take my eyes off of the sweet little boy, with my boy's name!  I am amazed at the details that had to play out for me to experience those few, precious seconds.  Another sweet gift from my Jesus...a reminder that He hasn't left us and He's still working, even though we can't see it.

From the very beginning of this process, Abba has impressed "Christmas" on my heart.  Ty will be born and will come home around Christmas.  Sometimes I walk in great confidence of that promise, and sometimes I feel like I'm way out in left field, but recently He has been reminding me of that detail...Christmas.  Over and over and over, He's told me..."Christmas."  And lately, He's gotten a bit pushy about it..."I told you Christmas.  You might need to get his space ready for him!!"  Oh, but, uh...that's going to require some movement behind my faith.  To which He replied, "Exactly."  Between you and me...I'm afraid of being wrong.  What if I am way out in left field and Christmas comes and goes with no baby? What then?  If all we've invested is paperwork and prayers then I can blow it off as, "Oh well, I was wrong, we'll just keep waiting."  But if I have an entire nursery set up, waiting for my tiny son to come home in +/- 75 days and then he doesn't...I don't know if I can look at that space.  Will be a painful reminder of a failure?  SO, here's what we're going to do...we're going to be obedient.  Toby and I have CHOSEN to be obedient, even if it seems ridiculous!  I mean, how ridiculous did Noah look building a boat on dry land in a place that had never seen rain?!?  Ok, so I will take a BIG step out there, risk looking totally ridiculous and wait patiently for my God, my King Jesus, to come through on His latest promise..."I will bring you Ty...this Christmas."

As Haley and I have studied Noah over the last few weeks, I have drilled into her head...

GOD ALWAYS KEEPS HIS PROMISES!

Related posts:
9/23/12 - A bump in the road
7/10/12 - Save the adoption credit
6/29/12 - Bezi's Grand Opening
6/22/12 - We're over the first hump
5/21/12 - Out of the mouths of babes
5/13/12 - A far away dream comes near

A bump in the road

We are so grateful to all of you who have been so encouraging on our adoption journey.  I know it's been a while since my last update here, so let me catch you up to speed.

God has been so good, so clear, and provided so much confirmation to us through this process.  This journey started back in March when I thought I was pregnant.  I had the list of symptoms across the board...strange tiredness, nausea, heightened sense of smell, emotional, you name it.  Any woman who's been there knows the emotional roller coaster you ride in your mind until you get clear, medical confirmation.  So I was really disappointed when my first at home test was negative...didn't even tell Toby about that one.  But the symptoms continued for another week, and since I'd gotten a false negative with Jake's pregnancy, I held out hope.  I had done the math, and if I were pregnant, we would have a Christmas baby.  The next week I had shared my thoughts with Toby and I took another test...negative.  I was so bummed and confused and I launched myself into prayer over it for the next few days.  Through many hours of conversation and questions with Abba, many dreams, and lots of time in worship, He revealed something really cool to me..."Carey, you're not pregnant, but your baby has been conceived."  Ha, uh, weird. What am I suppose to do with that?  After more questions and long talks with Toby, we became convinced that our baby was out there, now is the time to start the adoption process and we will bring him home around Christmas.

So we shared all of this with our adoption agency, including the visions Toby and I have had of our little boy.  We've since learned that people don't usually put so many "specifics" on their adopted baby, but because these sweet people love Jesus and have seen Him do amazing things, they simply said, "Wow!  That's incredible!  We can't wait for the ride."  They have been so encouraging and supportive.  So we truck along, get through the challenging application process and are getting ready for our home study.  The day before our first home study visit, a 17 year old girl, matching our description, called the agency.  She was pregnant and wanted to give her baby for adoption.  She was due the second week of January.  As soon as our social worker mentioned this to us, I just knew, that I knew, that this was our baby.  This was him!  How beautiful, how perfect!  We wouldn't even have to prepare a profile of our family - a scrapbook birthmothers will use to "shop" for an adoptive family.  I got attached, really just to the idea since we knew very little else about the birthmother, but in my heart I knew she was carrying our son.  So we prayed for that birthmother and that sweet baby day in and day out, and anxiously awaited the day of her big ultrasound to determine the sex of her baby.  We knew that big day was coming around the end of August, but we didn't hear from our social worker.  I refused the possibility and clung to the hope that this was our baby.

The last Friday morning of August, I was running errands with Haley and Jake in tow when my phone rang.  It was her, the call I'd been waiting on.  She was so sweet and so kind, but she didn't have an excitement in her voice like I'd hoped.  She told me that the birthmother we'd been praying for was healthy, the pregnancy was going well, and she was having a girl.  I was crushed.  I sat in the parking lot of Sam's Club, not really in a state of shock as much as a "what do we do now?" state.  After hanging up the phone, I cried and then cried some more, knowing my sweet Haley wouldn't understand what had just happened.  Seeing that I was sad, she started singing a song she'd made up, "Don't you worry worry, Mommy.  Don't you worry worry, Daddy."  That was it, the whole song, but it was exactly what I needed to hear.   So I pulled myself together and called another member of our agency.  She already knew the news and was waiting on my call.  I asked her, "What do we need to do to prepare our profile?"

So that's where we are.  Our profile is almost finished and then we will begin "marketing" ourselves.  I hate that term, but it's basically what it is.  But I know that we are not just throwing ourselves out there, begging for someone to please choose us.  Our profile will simply be a tool to connect us with the one, perfect birthmother who is carrying my little boy.  Our prayer is for God to show us the path that leads to our son, and I know that He will do it.

Within a matter of days, Abba was able to show me the good in our disappointment.  To be completely honest, I had allowed Satan to whisper lies to me, horrible lies...and I started to believe them.  They were so horrible that I didn't even tell Toby about them.  That's exactly the way Satan wanted it.  As long as the lies were hidden in the dark places of my mind, they held power over me, but as soon as they were released into the light and brought out into the open they were broken!  I would rock Jake at night and these thoughts would come through my mind, "You're not going to love that baby like you do Haley and Jake.  That child will always be different.  You're going to resent raising someone else's kid when he's sick or he turns out to be a heathen.  God didn't tell you to do this.  You made it up and you want people to say 'Oh, look how great Carey is'."  The sad part is that I listened.  I allowed doubt to creep into my mind.  Are we suppose to adopt?  Are we just out in left field here?  The beauty of this disappointment was that I grieved over "loosing" that baby.  If those horrible lies were true, then the knowledge of this baby being a girl would have been a relief, and it was far from it.  God used my grief to help me knock out the lies, remind me of His promise and solidify my heart for this baby.  Now I am more anxious than ever to have him in my arms!

This past Sunday, our confirming God spoke boldly again.  At the end of the service our pastor asked us to hold out our hands and repeat after him.  I hadn't even been focused on our new son that day and was a bit distracted, but decided to buckle down and focus on the words coming out of his mouth..."Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us."  As soon as those last words came out of my mouth, it was as if a sound wave or something had been traveling through the air and it hit me, nearly knocking me back.  I clearly heard Abba's voice, "I will bring you Ty."  And again He impressed Christmas on my heart.  It was so clear, so powerful, and so out of nowhere that I crumpled into tears.  Even now, He is reminding me of His promise and that His timing is perfect.  We are holding onto that as we ride out the rest of our journey in bringing our baby boy home!


Related posts:
7/10/12 - Save the adoption credit
6/29/12 - Bezi's Grand Opening
6/22/12 - We're over the first hump
5/21/12 - Out of the mouths of babes
5/13/12 - A far away dream comes near

Save the adoption credit

First of all, thank you SO MUCH to all of you who have been so supportive through our adoption process so far.  Many of you have inquired of our progress, have offered prayers on our behalf and have supported Bezi's Creations in an effort to help us raise the funds necessary to bring our son home.  As many of you know, adopting a baby is certainly not a "cheap" endeavor.  When God told us to start this process, even before we had the money in the bank, we took a leap of faith and began walking down this road.  One crucial piece to the funding of our adoption is the adoption tax credit available to families, however this credit is set to expire on December 31, 2012.  If this happens, Toby and I will be unable to capitalize on this wonderful opportunity and great aid in bringing our son home.  The following is copied from another blog and I would appreciate the 5 minutes of your time it would require to help ensure the adoption credit gets renewed.  Also, please share this important information with your friends and families via email, FaceBook and the like.  Thank you so much for your continued support! 

Excerpt from Chapters blog:

Advocate for Kids

Before we started the process of adopting LC, we knew jack about adopting period.  As you can imagine, we've learned a lot recently about the ABC's of the adoption process and both how rewarding it can be emotionally and how draining it can be financially.  Please note: I'm not complaining.  Every penny we've spent has been over and over and over again worth it.  But if you are thinking about adoption or know someone who is or has...or just if you can find it in your heart to care at all about all the children who need a family, there's something you need to know. 

There is good news: there is a "adoption assistance" tax credit that, traditionally, has helped offset some (not all) of the costs of adoption.

The bad news: at the end of 2012, if people don't say something, its gone.  In fact, in 2012, it's already been changed from refundable (you get money back) to non-refundable (it just means you might not have to pay so much if you owe income taxes). 

What does that mean?  Or maybe why should you care?

To put it simply, it means good families who want to change a life and/or provide a loving, stable home but don't make quite enough money might not have the income to adopt a child in need.  (Just so you know, adoption can cost anywhere from $13-$40K on average if adopting privately.)

So this credit going away makes me incredibly sad. How many kids in the future are going to stay in the system because families just can't afford adoption?

I wrote my first ever letter to a Representative today and I'm asking if someone (ANYONE) would take the time to copy this letter (below) and click here to send (typically) a web form to your Representative. It will take 10 minutes of your life.  But it could change someone else's forever.

I hope I've made this really, really easy: 

Dear Representative INSERT NAME:

I am writing to ask you to support the adoption tax credit, which is set to expire on December 31, 2012. The adoption tax credit is especially important to me because INSERT REASON (like: you're planning to adopt, you know someone who has adopted, or you think adoption is a worthy cause).

The adoption tax credit is essential to ensuring that as many children as possible are able to find families and that the cost of adoption is not prohibitive to children being raised in loving, caring environments.  I am asking you to take action on behalf of those who have made both a personal and financial sacrifice to support children in our country and in other countries who are in need.

Please use your vote to make sure the adoption tax credit would be permanent, refundable, inclusive of all types of adoption, and remain a “flat” tax for children with special needs.

On behalf of the countless children waiting to be adopted, and the many thousands of families that stand to suffer financially with the loss of the adoption tax credit, thank you for your attention to this important issue.

Sincerely,

NAME

CITY, STATE

EMAIL ADDRESS

PS: Will you consider re-posting to get the word out?

Bezi's Grand Opening

Bezi's Creations is ready for its Grand Opening on Etsy!  Please take a minute to stop by, check things out and pass the word along.  For this weekend only I'm offering free domestic shipping in celebration of our big kickoff.  Simply enter the code "grandopen" during checkout. 

Make sure to check back often as I have tons of new ideas and great new products coming down the pipeline.  I just wanted to get Etsy up and running with what I already have available.  Remember that all proceeds go toward our adoption expenses.  Thanks again for your support! 

If you're on FaceBook, make sure to like our page, www.facebook.com/beziscreations.  Also in celebration of Bezi's Grand Opening weekend we will be giving away a $20 gift card (either to Bezi's or Amazon, winner's choice).  The winner will be chosen by random.org once the FaceBook page reaches 100 likes.  So help spread the word!

Thanks again for all of your prayers, encouragement and support in bringing our baby boy home!!  

We're over the first hump

We have had so many people ask about how the adoption process is coming, so I wanted to drop a quick note to keep everyone in the loop.  A few weeks ago we turned in our mountain of paperwork.  All of it was reasonable, it was just a lot of stuff to collect...certified copies of our birth certificates, marriage certificates and deed on our house, reference letters from friends and family, proof of employment and insurance, letters from our bank confirming our financial assertions, financial records, autobiographies, medical exams, etc etc etc.  So anyway, we finally got through all of that and are on to the next phase.

We met with our social worker last night and were so encouraged by everything she had to share.  We had some concerns regarding the financial "risks" we are undertaking as spelled out in the contract we have to sign with the agency, but she was a great comfort.  She assured us that they do a lot of screening with the birthmothers on the front end, and statistically, once we are matched with a birthmother the chances of everything working out are really good...at least that is this agency's experience.  She also walked us through the next few steps in more detail.  We will begin the home study process this Sunday and will conclude it after the July 4th holiday.  The home study consists of two visits from our social worker to our home.  She will evaluate how we relate to and "manage" our children, the safety and cleanliness of our home, and we will discuss in more detail our parenting styles, childhoods, and motivations and expectations regarding the adoption.  The home study process is a standard event that is required by the state to be considered a suitable adoptive parent, regardless of where the adopted child comes from. 


The home study should be complete around the middle of July at which point we will begin the education phase.  We will have several conferences with a member of our agency who will provide us with information regarding the specific circumstances and needs of adopted children.  This is one of the reasons that we are so happy to be working with this agency, Children of the World.  This is not just business to them.  They are dealing with people's lives and they take very seriously the opportunity they have to minister to us, the birthmother, and the adopted child. 

At this point, we will be ready to receive our son and will begin the waiting process.  There are several ways to "find" our son, many of which we will investigate further when that time comes.  Once we are matched with a birthmother through a mutual selection process, the majority of our expenses will come due.  The birthmother's individual situation will determine how much financial help she needs from us regarding her basic needs as well as assistance from the agency.  The more help she needs, the more it will cost us.  The agency estimates a maximum expense of around $18,000.  To be honest, we do not have $18,000 sitting in our bank accounts today.  All we know is that God told us to start this process several months ago.  He told me specifically then that He will provide what we need, when we need it, to trust Him and begin the process...even before the money is sitting in the bank.  So here we are.  We have a saved a good bit that will get us started and I have started Bezi's Creations in an effort to raise some of the funds, but we are taking one step at a time...confident that He will make good on His promise, just like He always does! 

On the Bezi's front, I am getting ready to open a shop on Etsy in the next week or so.  I am so excited about all that God has shown me through this business and I hope you will take a minute to check it out.  The FaceBook page will stay up to keep you posted on our adoption progress, to display new products, and to offer promotions. 

Thank you so much to all of you that have been so encouraging.  Please continue to pray for us, our son, and his birthmother.  Please pray for God's guidance as we all make decisions and for all things to play out in His perfect timing.  As always, we are humbled and honored to be used in expanding His Kingdom and spreading His love.

Chop, chop

We had a big day today.  Everybody got a big haircut!  Well, everybody except Toby...he doesn't have much to spare.  For those of you who know me personally, you know that my hair has been growing...and growing.  So much so that the first comment I receive from anybody who doesn't see me on a regular basis is, "Wow. Your hair has gotten so long!"

It all started back when we moved to Tennessee right after Haley was born.  I had a really short stack back then...I mean, really short.  Being a new stay at home mom and landing in a new city without a trusted hair stylist, I just got lazy and let it grow.  By the time we made it back to Alabama almost two years later, it was pretty long.  Then I thought, "Well, I've let it go this long so I might as well just grow it for Locks of Love."  Last November I was completely annoyed with the mass of hair on my head and went to my stylist, Sandy, to have it chopped off...I was done.  She said, "Locks of Love?  Oh honey, you've got at least three more months left."  I was devastated.  Three months finally came and I made my appointment to have it chopped off. The Sunday before my big appointment, a sweet friend at church came up and randomly said, "Your hair is so pretty, Ms. Carey."  *sigh*  The day before my appointment I chickened out and cancelled it. 

Well, here we are.  It's another three months later, my hair is approaching my waistline, it's a miserable 90 degrees outside everyday and Toby just called me a "tree huggin', homeschool mom."  I guess it's time to let it go.  Since I was heading in anyway I took a long look at my little ones.  I'm pretty embarrassed that they were looking pretty shaggy themselves.  So off we went!

Jake had a shaggy do that covered his ears and one rockin' rat tail goin' on.  He did great with his first hair cut, although he was far more interested in what Sandy was up to than sitting still for her. 

Haley had to have a pep talk and luckily we avoided the freakout that came with her last haircut.  We whacked off about 5 inches and I can't believe how big she looks!

I had to take one last breath before my 14" ponytail got chopped off, but I made it through with only a little second guessing.  As Sandy was blow drying my now super short hair, I was a bit disappointed.  But as usual she kept working, thinned it out some more and it began to take shape.  As the afternoon wore on I began to get used to it.  In the end, I'm pretty happy with my new do and so glad that crazy wad is gone! 

My ponytail will go to Locks of Love.  Hopefully sooner rather than later because it's kind of creepy to see it laying on the counter. If you're not familiar with this organization, they do wonderful work.  They receive hair donations and produce hairpieces for children with permanent or long term hair loss.  These hairpieces retail for thousands of dollars but are given away for free to children in need.  Their website says that 80% of their donors are children.  I love the idea of children helping other children, and I'm thrilled to be able to help.

Out of the mouths of babes

Last night I was cleaning the kitchen before bed and had some rare alone time.  I used it to launch into prayer for friends and family and eventually our adoption.  The prayers came freely for our baby boy, his birth mother and the entire adoption process.  The mountains in front of us just seem so big sometimes.  There's the paperwork and the waiting, the fundraising, actually finding this sweet baby, possible health concerns at birth, bringing home a new baby, the adjustment for my other two kids, and the support or lack there of from our family.  In the end, I begged Abba for another sign of confirmation.  I just needed to be reassured that we are on the right path.  This is a life altering decision that will forever effect our little family, our extended family, and our generations to come.  I don't want to be anywhere but right in step with Him. 

Toby and I have not shared anything with Haley about the adoption.  Being only 3 years old, there's so much she won't understand.  There will be lots of waiting, likely some disappointment, and of course the never ending questions.  So we haven't discussed it with her at all and I guess we thought we'd wait until we were further along in the process before bringing her on board.  Well, Abba beat me to it. 

This morning as I was changing Jake's diaper after his morning nap, Haley came into his room carrying two naked baby dolls.  She handed one to Jake and the other to me and she said, "This baby's for you cause you're going to have another baby."  I froze.  I looked at her and said, "What did you just say, sweetie?"  She repeated herself, "You're going to have another baby."  Not believing what I was hearing I asked, "What do you mean by that?"  She was totally confident in her answer, "Jesus loves you.  He's going to give you another baby."  I sat there stunned.  I'd call that "confirmation."  So I shared a little about the road we are starting on.  I asked her how she felt about have two baby brothers and she immediately got excited.  She is the absolute best big sister to Jake and I know she will be to this new baby as well.

By the way, I had a physical done three days ago as part of the adoption process.  My doctor ran a pregnancy test just to be sure...it was negative. 

Thank you, Jesus, for my confirmation.  Thank you for reminding me that You are in control of all things, that you hear me when I call to You, and You love me enough to answer the hard questions in my soul in a way that I cannot mistake.  I know that You will walk us through every, single step of this season.  The ones that will take us through valleys and the ones that will take us to mountain tops.  You will be there, right in front of us, leading the way and we will give You ALL glory for each and every step. 

A hard lesson in grace

A hard day...a hard lesson...a good reminder...

This afternoon the kids and I had to leave the house for a few hours, so we took a drive. (More details on that to come later.) After a good hour and we were still not able to return home, sweet Jake was over the car seat. Haley had a movie going, so she was content as could be, but not knowing how long we'd be I knew Jake had to get out of the car. It was a little after 5:00, so I thought we'd grab an early dinner.

Now, I never attempt to eat in a restaurant alone with two children. Any mom with small children knows that is just asking for trouble, but when you're desperate you do what you have to do. So we pulled into a local chicken finger joint. I hauled myself, my 6 month old in carrier, the diaper bag and 3 year old across the parking lot, into the small restaurant, and to an empty table. In a moment of genius I decided to put Jake in a high chair. He's recently mastered sitting up and I figured he'd be happier there than in his car seat...and a happy baby makes for a happy dinner, for everyone.


It turns out that Jake, indeed, liked the high chair. In fact, he liked it so much that he was ecstatic in expressing his excitement...in loud, shrill screams. This squeal is a new skill, so he was thrilled to practice it...over and over. I, on the other hand, was mortified. I do not want to be that mom with out of control kids, disrupting everybody else's meal. But what am I to do? I did everything I could think of...shoved snacks in his mouth, jingled toys in front of his face, even pulled up a cartoon on You Tube on my phone. Oh, he was happy with all my efforts...too happy. I patted his mouth as he screamed in an effort to quiet him, but that just encouraged him on. For once, Haley was sitting in her seat, eating away and being incredibly well behaved.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a young couple sitting next to us watching Jake. I looked over and apologized, but she sweetly laughed and started playing with him. Whew. I continue shoveling in an effort to get us out of there as quickly as possible when an older gentlemen appeared at my side. When I looked up at him he started talking to Jake, "How does such a loud noise come out of such a small body? You are so cute..." he continued and chatted with Haley before saying goodbye.

A few minutes later another gentlemen came to our table. I looked up to him, anticipating another nice compliment about my cute kids. "Will you please do a better job to keep him under control? That noise is really painful." I'm not sure if I replied. I brought my eyes down and they met those of the young woman next to me. I think she was as shocked as I was. I didn't know what to do. Haley and I still had a considerable amount of dinner to finish. I considered going to sit at a table outside, but it was getting cold and I didn't have jackets for the kids. So I shoveled faster and pushed Haley to eat quickly, not wanting to be a bother to anyone else and knowing that eyes were peering at me. After I finished a few more bites, I sacrificed the rest of my salad, asked for a to-go container, boxed up the rest of Haley's food, scrounged to pack up our belongings and loaded my family up to leave. As we walked away from our table, the gentlemen had his back to us, but I was able to make eye contact with his wife. I mouthed, "I'm sorry." She nodded with a "you should be" look on her face and then returned her attention to her food. In the parking lot I did my best to explain the situation to Haley, but she still didn't understand why someone was rude ("mean," in her words) and that we had to leave before we were finished.

Sweet Toby called my cell phone as I pulled out of the parking lot. It just so happened that he was on his way to class and we passed at the red light in front of the restaurant. He had good news, but I couldn't concentrate on it, much less celebrate it. When I told him what had happened at the restaurant, he quickly asked for the man's description. Not wanting to cause a scene and fearful that maybe I just overreacted or was being too sensitive, I hesitated. He was insistent, I described the man, and he said, "I've gotta go" ...click.

About fifteen minutes later my phone rang again. "That man wanted to apologize and says that he didn't mean to upset you." Still hurt, I didn't care, but was touched that Toby took interest in my pain. Here's Toby's side of the story...

As soon as he walked in, he looked around and the young couple that had been sweet to me knew exactly who he was. They whispered to each other and put their heads down. Toby declined an invitation from a friend to join his table and responded, "Thanks man, but I'm not here for food." He found the offender and his wife and helped himself to seat at their table. He began, "First of all, I am very sorry if my family disrupted your evening." At this, the man put the pieces together and started to stutter. Toby is no small fry. He continued, "However, that was my family and I don't appreciate the way you spoke to my wife. She left here very upset and there was no reason for it." The man replied, "Look, I didn't mean to upset her. (His wife added her agreement.) I've had a hard day and a headache..." The man wore a uniform for a local plant...a similar work environment to Toby's job. My sweet husband answered, "I know what kind of job you do, sir, and I understand that days can be tough, but my wife has had a challenging day as well." "Yes, we've raised children and grandchildren." "Good, then you know that sometimes you can't do much to control a six month old. She was doing her best to deal with two kids on her own and she rushed her own dinner so she wouldn't disrupt others. Next time, maybe you could offer to help a mom who's struggling instead of being critical."

As Toby left the restaurant he ran into the young couple in the parking lot. They cheered him on. In a sigh of relief, Toby said, "Man, if I didn't love Jesus, I'd of said a whole lot more." The young guy jumped in, "Hey, I love Jesus and I'd of let him have it!"

I am by no means looking for pity or attempting to make myself a victim. I have no doubt that my baby was a distraction and unpleasant presence for most everyone else in that restaurant. For that, I apologize. But I will always remember this evening as a reminder to show grace to others...even when they're unpleasant. You never know what someone else is going through.

Jesus, when I find myself annoyed by someone else, please help me to be a blessing and not hurtful. Help me to remember how powerful my words are...they can build up or they can easily tear down. Show me how to extend your love, even when it's difficult.

Toby, you will never know what your actions tonight did for my soul. You fought for my honor. You are my hero and I love you all the more!