As long as Toby and I have been together...all the way back to high school, we've dreamed about one day adopting a baby. For me, that's just what it's been...a dream. I've always thought that someday it would be nice to entertain that idea, but for now it still seemed pretty far off. Toby, however, was on another page. A few weeks after Jake was born in July, Toby said, "I think we should adopt our next one." Hmm. We both want to have a big family, but I was fresh off of new baby hormones and not so interested in the idea. I gave him a half-hearted response, "Huh. Sure. Let's talk about it later." And with that the idea of adoption stayed a far away dream.
As the months wore on, Toby was relentless. Every few weeks he would bring up the idea, and when it came up again at the first of the year we were in the throws of selling, buying and moving. Again I brushed him off, "Let's get moved and settled before we launch into another life altering process." So, here we are. We've moved. We're settled. I'm out of excuses...and it came up again. Finally, I agreed to start praying about it. I asked Abba that if adopting a child was really in His plan for our near future then to change my heart and confirm this path. Wouldn't you know, He did just that. As I prayed over this for a few weeks I became more and more certain that this was something we should investigate. Adoption was suddenly in my face everywhere I turned. I got a call out of the blue from a Tennessee friend. They were in the middle of the adoption process and wanted some advice and prayer. On a rare date night out, Toby and I ended up at the movie theater watching October Baby. (Shameless plug - If you haven't seen October Baby, you need, need to see it. It has such great perspective and healing from so many angles. End shameless plug.) Toby and I had endless conversations about the idea and within a matter of weeks adoption went from a "nice idea for later" to me identifying a hole in my heart. Through these weeks of prayer I have become convinced that my baby is out there and I am not whole because he is not home with me. The best way to describe it is that I miss him. One of my babies is missing. Abba has His protective hand on my baby boy until we are able to meet him and bring him home. You see, this isn't about doing some good charity deed. In my heart I know that we are searching for this one child that has been earmarked for our family. I'm already attached to this baby I've never even met.
I suppose Toby's passion for our adoption started years ago. God gave him a vision and in it he saw he and I walking away. I was holding his hand and in his other hand was a two year old little boy. We know that Jake is not the boy he saw. During my weeks of prayer and searching I had a similar vision during worship at church one weekend. I saw my Jesus holding the sweet hand of my little boy. He was about two years old at the time and had the most adorable little face. His eyes were bursting with joy and the sight of him was so real that I felt like I could reach out and touch him. That was my baby. I just know it. Also during this time I was reading through my Bible and a name jumped off the page at me. It stayed in my head for days and I couldn't get away from it. It was my little boy's name. The name Abba gave him means "chance" and "fortunate." Rather fitting, I thought.
Now it's just a matter of following God's leading to the path that will take us to our son. We have contacted several different adoption avenues in Mobile and decided on Children of the World out of Fairhope, Alabama. We had our first lengthy visit with our social worker this past week and are so thrilled to be working with them. The people of this agency truly love the Lord and they love their jobs. They are deeply compassionate and caring people. We have received glowing references and love that they take their birthmothers under their wing and minister to them before and after the adoption. We are now working on our final application for the State of Alabama and are gathering lots of paperwork in preparation for our home study.
A few months back, before I began entertaining the idea of adoption, Jesus gave me specific instructions one Sunday morning. Our pastor was preaching a series on miracles and as he got started that morning, I found myself thinking, "We've seen so many miracles. I wonder where we're going next." Immediately Jesus responded to my spirit, "Adoption. I want you to start the process even before you have the funds sitting in the bank." Hmm...seemed random at the time. So we recognize that adoption is not only a great emotional investment, but it will require a great financial investment as well. In light of this, my Jesus graciously showed me where some of these funds will come from during a 4am feeding with Jake a few weeks ago. It was like a light had gone off in my head and everything clicked perfectly in place. I had been complaining to Toby just days earlier that I felt like I needed somewhere to focus my energy...outside of running our home. I mean, let's face it...you can only get so much satisfaction and sense of accomplishment out of 14 loads of laundry. I also have been dabbling in some new creative outlets and had wondered if maybe I could sell some of my creations. When the goal was extra spending cash it just didn't seem to make sense and the pieces just didn't seem to line up, but now there was a specific goal to strive for. I would use the skills I've been working on and the creativity He's been working to reveal to bring in the funds we would need to support the adoption. And just like that Bezi's Creations was born! Bezi comes from Bezalel in the Bible. God gave Bezalel the supernatural ability to envision and build all of the items for the tabernacle when the Isrealites were wandering the wilderness. This guy has just stuck out to me ever since I studied this with my Boothmakers a few years back. Mind you, I'm a CPA and have never thought myself to be crafty, so any time I come up with anything even remotely unique or cute I claim a "Bezalel moment." So anyway, Bezi's Creations will offer handpainted furniture (a new, super fun hobby) as well as styles and accessories for little ones including bibs and onesies with neck ties or pearls, month by month onesies to capture your baby's first year, and hooded towels great for snuggling up a freshly cleaned baby or wrapping up a toddler after a fun day at the beach or in the pool.
I am so excited for this new season, even though it will be chalked full of stuff to accomplish. My prayer over the last few days has been for God to show me how to manage my time, how to structure my day so that I can spend quality time with Him and my family and still take care of our home, gather the needed adoption papers, and get a business up and running. I tell you, my days of vegging out in front of the TV are long gone. But it's all good. I wouldn't change a thing. He has answered my prayers and so far all systems are running smoothly.
So, will you help us in this? Will you join with Toby and me in prayer that God will guide our steps and give us wisdom and discernment as we walk the road that will take us to our son? Will you pray for protection over our baby and his birthmother? And will you help me get the word out about Bezi's Creations? I have started a FaceBook page and would love for you to "like" it and spread the word by sharing it with your friends. My products will be available for sale on the FaceBook page and also I will have my first sale this coming Saturday. I'm so excited to get things going! Thank you in advance for all of your support in this season. I know my Jesus has some amazing blessings lined up for so many in the coming months. It's going to be an awesome adventure!
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