Monday, January 21, 2013

Another round on the roller coaster

We are now three weeks after Christmas, and I'm sad to report that no, Ty did not make it home before the holiday.  At my last post, there was no news and then suddenly...a glimmer of hope!  On Friday, December 21 my phone rang. It was our social worker, Teresa.  We were 4 days before Christmas and my heart stopped at the sight of her name on my caller ID...could this be the call we've been waiting for?  She said, "Carey, I've run across a situation, but we haven't talked about it before so I wanted to see what you thought.  I've found a baby boy in the foster system in Missouri.  He is 11 months old today...and his name is Tai'Vone." (pronounced Ty - Von).  I asked her to repeat his name, just to make sure I heard her right.  She said she had limited information and in order to learn more about him we had to submit our homestudy, but she needed our permission to do so.  I didn't know what to say.  I've envisioned a newborn in my mind for the last year, so I didn't know what to do with this twist.  I called Toby and he said without hesitation, "Yes, let's learn more about him."

With that, Teresa sent the necessary paperwork and requested more information on baby Tai'Vone.  I just knew in my heart that if I could see a picture of his little face, I would know if he was mine or not.  Teresa cautioned us that it would probably be after the first of the year before we heard anything, so we waited and prayed. Day after day the idea grew on me.  This Tai and Jake would be 5 months apart...a great challenge now to manage two one year olds, but how fun to have a best buddy to grow up with.  I quickly became attached to the idea and waited not so patiently for business to resume in the new year.  Days and then weeks passed with no word.  We prayed for Abba to fling the doors wide open or slam them shut as we proceeded with this child.

Today, January 21 is Tai'Vone's first birthday.  Secretly, I had hoped that we would somehow get to celebrate this day with him.  He has been removed from the available child registry where Teresa first found him and we have not received a single response from his social worker.  Perhaps this is a closed door.

So what does this mean?  Did my God fail me?  Did He let me down on His promise?  There are many things that I don't know, but I do know that my God ALWAYS keeps His promises...always.  It is most likely that I misunderstood the original "deadline" of Christmas or maybe I was overly eager.  Whatever the truth is, my God is still good.  He is the one who planted the love for Ty in my and Toby's hearts and He will be the one to bring him home in His timing.  Above all else, I know that Abba loves me, He sees and understands my hurt and impatience, and He has amazing things planned for me and my family...inlcuding Ty.

Toby and I are nearing the end of 21 days of prayer and fasting.  My greatest plea is for Ty to come home during this window.  This may or may not happen and that is ok.  We are now praying for direction as we near the one year mark of this adoption journey.  Do we continue to pursue a domestic adoption?  Do we investigate international adoption?  Do we put off adoption for now and have more biological children?  I have so many questions and so few answers today, but I know that Abba has a plan...a great plan.  And when He's ready, He'll tell us which road to take.

I have been so touched by the many, many people who have asked about Ty and have prayed for him.  You will never know the depth of gratitude that comes from this mama's heart to hear of others who love my baby boy and are standing with us to see God's faithfulness.  I know He'll come through...He always does.

Related posts:
12/18/12 - One week to go...
10/11/12 - Bread crumbs while we wait
9/23/12 - A bump in the road
7/10/12 - Save the adoption credit
6/29/12 - Bezi's Grand Opening
6/22/12 - We're over the first hump
5/21/12 - Out of the mouths of babes
5/13/12 - A far away dream comes near


1 comment:

  1. I hope this is more an explination than anything. I do not want to be a discouragement. God is sovereign, and I have personally seen miracles he has orchestrated through the foster system. But, I will tell you this. My husband and I are in the beginning stages of adoption and we looked into adopting through foster care. We were told that for children under 5, nationwide, IF they become available for adoption (IF they don't go to biological family, or their foster parents do not adopt them), hundreds of homestudies are submitted within the first week for that child.
    I was shocked to find out some of the details of not only adoption, but the different nuances in the foster system as well. This was one that surprised me. Just thought you might want to know.

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