From our early dating days in high school, Toby and I knew we wanted to have a big family. In my mind's eye, our children would be about 2 years apart. When Haley was a bit over a year old the window came and went for our next baby to be conceived. God stopped us in our tracks and moved us to Mobile where we were finally in a position to start trying for another baby. In the early morning hours of Toby's birthday, we were thrilled to learn that sweet Jake was on his way. This would put him just under three years behind Haley...good enough for me!
Haley was delivered by C-section due to her breech position and my preeclamsia. The recovery from that experience was horrific and I wanted to do everything in my power to avoid it this time. I started doing research on VBACs (vaginal birth after cesarean) and concluded that I was a great candidate. We discussed this at length with my OB during our first prenatal visit, and compromised that I could try for a VBAC as long as I did so under her terms - no laboring at home, immediate epidural upon my arrival at the hospital, and constant internal fetal monitoring. At the time I had hoped for a natural delivery. My OB said that was out of the question, and since I didn't know much about the VBAC world and its risks, I agreed.
Despite some minor setbacks on my end, the pregnancy moved forward with no problems. I began to research and speak with other moms about the possibility of VBAC and my understanding began to change. Not only was a natural VBAC a reasonable option, it was the best option for me. I took a trip back to Tennessee to visit some friends and had a long, God-ordained, chat with Candice, a seasoned mom. She had a c-section and 3 successful VBACs 15 years ago! Each VBAC delivery had been different regarding the level of medical intervention, and the last one was natural. She stated that without a doubt, it was the best experience. My heart began to get heavy over this issue and when I brought it up again with my OB, she had nothing but scare tactics to say to me. With Candice's experiences in the back of my mind, I eventually worked up the courage to look for another OB.
God put several women in my path that led me to a midwife who had performed many successful VBACs recently, one being a good friend from my MOPS group. The idea of a midwife was new to me and a little scary, but since I had zero luck finding another OB who would willingly consider a natural VBAC, I thought she was my best bet. This midwife, Cindy, came highly recommended by two moms who had used her. They boasted that she will pray for you and read scripture over you as you labor. I was blown away...I had to meet her! So, at 30 weeks we changed care providers and started down an eventful path.
About this time, a friend introduced me to a book called Supernatural Childbirth by Jackie Mize. It was a fast read and I devoured it in three days. It tells the story of a mom who had been told she would not be able to conceive or carry a child. Her husband challenged the doctor's diagnosis and believed in faith that they would have biological children. God gave them four babies. The last three were born without pain medication and without pain. The idea seemed crazy to me, but something in my spirit was interested.
Within days of reading this book, an old friend came back into my life. Mindy and I waited tables together in college, and with the exception of one email several years ago, I hadn't spoken to her in seven years. In that one random email, she briefly mentioned that she had delivered her daughter naturally and without pain. She and her husband had believed God for this gift and He had granted it to them. At the time I had no idea what to make it this, so I thought it weird and forgot about it. But now in the wake of reading this book, I was curious about her experience. I contacted her and we set up a phone date where she shared her experiences and how God had indeed given her two babies without pain medication and without pain. Granted there were a few hiccups along the way, but none the less, God had been glorified in her deliveries!
After Toby and I had read the book and I had talked with Mindy, we started praying about this crazy idea of pain free natural childbirth. The more time went on, the more convinced I was that this was a miracle for me. If He could do it for Jackie and He could do it for Mindy, then He could do it for me! I could deliver my son naturally and without pain. My excitement grew with each passing day and I couldn't wait to experience the incredible miracle I had been praying for!
We continued to research natural childbirth with the understanding that knowledge is a great deterrent of fear. And fear is the root of most pain. The more we knew about this process and what to expect, the less we would be afraid of it, so we jumped in with both feet. We meet with the childbirth educator at another local hospital and had two private classes related to natural childbirth and VBACs. This time was such a gift. Not only did God give me another supportive person in Jaime, but she educated us on the physical aspects of how a pain free delivery was medically possible and a reasonable expectation. She explained how the human body produces its own pain killers, stronger than anything cooked up in a vile, and how to use the birth process in your favor to eliminate pain and stress. This was the missing link we wanted. Jackie's book was awesome in teaching us about the spiritual aspect of childbirth, but Jaime tied it together and confirmed our hopes with physical, medical information.
As part of our preparation for our supernatural birth, I spent hours in the Word studying scriptures on pain, fear, miracles, children, childbirth...anything that might relate. I wrote them out with the plan of Toby reading these scriptures over me during labor. I compiled a playlist of praise and worship songs to keep me focused on my Abba's great love and power. We bought portable speakers to hook up to my iPhone to play our music and packed a bag of things we would need during labor.
Our first few check ups with our new midwife, Cindy, were routine. The only concern was that my baby boy was breech. Remember, Haley was breech also, and knowing how rare breech presentation is, I thought it highly unlikely to end up in that boat again by the time we made it to 40 weeks. We discussed the option of a version, manually turning him by pushing on my belly. However, this option was quickly ruled out due to my previous c-section. The risk of my previous incision rupturing was too great, so we dismissed that option.
At 36 weeks, Jake was still breech. I was heartbroken, to say the least. Almost one month before he arrived, I poured out my heart to you and so many of you were gracious enough to pray for us and share encouraging words. I just knew he was going to turn! Our childbirth educator, Jaime, told us that 10% of babies are breech at 35 weeks and only 3% were still breech at 40 weeks. We heard many stories of babies turning during week 39 or even at the last minute, while being prepped for a c-section. I clung to these statistics.
I did everything in my power to help our baby turn. I did my funky, stand on my head exercises. I spent hours on end in the pool, both my sister's legitimate underground pool and our backyard blow up pool. Cindy referred me to a chiropractor who also shared encouraging statistics. The Webster's technique that they used had an 80% success rate and this specific practice boasted a great statistic of only two babies in ten years not turning. That was enough to encourage me to make the 90 minute round trip drive several times each week. Chiropractic medicine was completely new and foreign to me, but God granted me yet another beautiful lover of Jesus for my support team. Dr. Renee was not only kind and encouraging, but she had actually had a supernatural delivery herself! I was amazed at the people God was putting in my path. I was confident God was going to grant me this miracle. My son was going to turn, likely at the last minute, and then He would give me an amazing, pain free childbirth. I couldn't wait to boast His glory!
In the weeks before his delivery, the knowledge of Jake being breech became all consuming. In the stillness of the night, I would convince myself that he was turning and God had awakened me just in time to witness it. I would lie awake for hours before allowing myself to go back to sleep. But morning after morning, I would wake with his head just under my rib cage. I had so many people praying for our miracle and so many encouraging notes and chats. I was on a roller coaster. Some days I was 100% convinced that this was going to happen. I mean, this is how God designed my body to work...why wouldn't He grant it? That had to be His will...natural delivery. Right? Then I would have days of doubt. Depression would sneak in. What if He didn't grant me this prayer? Why wouldn't He? What does that say about Him? Would He withhold this miracle because of my doubts? Would I be able to trust Him afterwards if He didn't give it to me? All of these thoughts constantly plagued my mind, but I didn't dare speak them aloud out of fear those words would damage my faith. And so the roller coaster continued...
During one of those late nights I had just awakened from a dream. In this dream, I saw Jake in my womb...with his cord around his neck. It was clear that this is why he hadn't turned. Turning would tighten his cord and choke him. I woke up in terror! Was this a warning from Abba or was this a threat from Satan? I laid awake for hours debating what to make of this. When sweet Toby woke up to check on me, I shared my dream with him. We agreed that it was a scare tactic from Satan because we were being so aggressive in believing for our miracle. After all, fear doesn't come from my Jesus.
A few days later, Haley and I were running errands and the child who never naps passed out in her car seat. I randomly drove around town and waited in the Wal-Mart parking lot until she woke up. It was now too late to do my shopping so we headed home. During our short drive, I asked her our routine questions...Did you sleep well? Did you have good dreams? But this particular conversation took a different direction...
"Hey sweet girl. Did you have good dreams? What did you dream about."
"Yeah. You, Mommy."
"You dreamed about me? What was I doing?" I was flattered.
Mumble, mumble, mumble...something about Jesus.
"Jesus was there, too?"
"Yeah, He was."
"What were we doing?"
"Jesus was helping you sleep. Jesus is really sweet, Mommy."
I didn't know what to say. Then I heard just as clearly as if Haley were still speaking...I hear your prayers, Carey. And I hear your prayers for baby Jake, too. You have to trust me. You should know that one of the things I pray over Haley nearly every night is that Jesus will come to her in her sleep. That she will know His face and recognize His voice. I pray these things in my spirit as I check on her before we climb into bed and am not sure I had even told Toby about it. But now I knew, they had been answered. This was real...how else would Haley have known I'd been having trouble sleeping?
On several visits Cindy would push on Jake and he would shift a bit. She would say, "I feel like he'd go if we just encouraged him." But then she'd pull her hands back, "but I just can't. I'm not sure why, but I just can't." She explained that there were two reasons why he may not be turning. One, his cord is too short to allow for the shift, but there would be no way to see that on an ultrasound. Or two, my uterus was heart shaped with two chambers at the top and he was stuck in one of the chambers. Even so, I clung to my prayers and I begged all the more for my miracle. My God could overcome either of those obstacles.
As Jake's due date closed in, my emotions went up and down. My faith was strong one day and weak the next. All I knew was that I had poured my heart out for this miracle, for Jake to turn head down and to have a pain free delivery. I was convinced that he wouldn't turn until he was ready to come out. He's going to flip and I will immediately go into labor. I will have one of those amazing, last minute stories. Or would I?
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