The sandwich generation

A few months ago my mom and I had a chat about our oldest generation. I remember as a child that my Granddaddy, her dad, was around a lot. He would come over for dinner once a week and more times than not made it to my softball games and dance recitals. When I was really little, I remember spreading out on the living room floor and coloring with him for hours and he would read books to me in the kitchen while mom finished cooking supper. I remember that he was around a lot and I had fun with him, but now as an adult I couldn't remember us talking much and I felt like I didn't know what to say to him. When I was nine we moved from Birmingham, where he lived, up to Huntsville and I suppose that's when the distance came. As I continued to grow up and went off to college and got married, my mom talked to him all the time and would give him the updates on what was happening in my life, but I didn't do a very good job of keeping up with him on my own.

Recently, Granddaddy moved in with my mom and as with any new life stage, it's been an adjustment...for everybody. But even in a hard season, God is showing me so many blessings. Because of the miracles God worked last summer, I am able to stay home with Haley and therefore have the flexibility to travel...pretty much whenever we want. With my mom being a CPA and in the throws of tax season, she's finding it difficult to be everywhere she needs to be, so off we went! On Friday, Haley and I took Granddaddy to the VA to get some paperwork done and have his hearing aids adjusted and today we trotted off to Birmingham for a follow up doctor's visit. While I was looking forward to this time with Granddaddy, I have to admit that I was a little nervous about what we would talk about with so much "alone" time. So here's where the great blessings come in...we haven't had one dull moment or awkward silence yet!

Just as most of my life updates have gone through mom to him, most of his life stories have been passed from her to me...but Granddaddy says she gets some of the details confused. I love that! Today we rode an hour and a half to Birmingham and an hour and a half back. He told me all kinds of great stories...how he decided to join the navy during WWII, even though he wasn't 18 yet and details about where he was stationed throughout his service and crazy adventures that happened during that time. My favorite stories, though, were about my grandmother...how they met, adventures of their marriage, the fertility struggles they endured, and her early death. She had been sick for a long time and passed away just after my mom finished first grade. I am named after her and I have, in turn, passed her name on to my Haley. I think carrying her name has always given me a strong connection to her although I obviously never met her, so I love to soak up any story about her I've been able to get my hands on. Even though I know he hasn't always been an old man, it was so neat to travel back in time with him and watch him relive his younger days...by the time he was my age he had served six years in the navy, including active duty in WWII, married his sweetheart, endured several miscarriages with her, and pursued several careers until he finally found a passion in the X-ray business. It was so exciting to watch his face light up as he talked about his sweetheart. She was renting a room from his sister when he met her, and "she was about the right age, so I asked her for a date," he said with a big grin. I asked, "Where did you take her? Do you remember?" "Ah, I think we went to see a movie or something. But it went well cause I asked her for another date!" Six months later they were married. The pictures I've seen of their early years show a young married couple, madly in love and enjoying every minute of life. Those people were not hard of hearing or getting confused easily, but they were just like me and my sweet Toby...just doing life in your 20s and everything that comes along with it.

Granddaddy has always said he wants Haley to know him. I take a picture of Haley everyday (ok, nearly everyday) with my phone and email it out to our family. It's nothing monumental, just us at the grocery store, eating lunch or playing outside, but since we live so far away from most of our family, it helps them to feel like they can watch her grow up. So he gets to see her, but she doesn't get to see him that often...until this twisted blessing. We have spent several days here now and will make several more trips in the coming months and already I can see a sweet relationship blooming between Haley and Granddaddy. On Friday while we waited at the VA, Haley introduced Granddaddy to her favorite pal, Woody. You should know that Haley doesn't share Woody with many people, but she let Granddaddy hold on to him that afternoon and they ended up with a sweet game of hide and seek between the three of them. Granddaddy would tuck Woody into his jacket and Haley would call for him as she searched, then she would giggle with delight! Today at the doctor's office, Haley watched everything he did with curiosity...step on the scales, take his temperature, check his blood pressure...she wanted to know all about it. To watch her stroll into his room and say, "Hey Ganddaddy. What doin?" just melts my heart.

Granddaddy, Haley and Woody playing hide and seek at the VA

Even though these first months of this new season will be an adjustment for Granddaddy, mom and her husband, I am excited about the twisted blessings God has mingled in. I will get to spend more time with mom and help her in whatever way I can, and they can see Haley much more than they normally do. Thank you Jesus, for this season and for helping us to see the blessings you have intermingled with the challenges. Help us to take full advantage of this season and make the most of the relationships You've given us.