A restless night and sweet encounter with Jesus

We are taking a week to vacation with our families on our way south to Mobile. Tonight is night number 2. Toby's mom is with us and usually I sleep like a baby when she's around because she always gets up with Haley. Tonight however, after going to bed after midnight, I was wide awake at 4am. I've had this nasty cough for a few weeks now, and it has often woken me up, but normally I return to sleep pretty easily. Tonight, as I laid there in the dark, I did everything I could to drift back to dream land...sing songs, recall scripture, think about the last few days...all things that usually send me off in seconds. When nothing worked, I decided to talk to Jesus...well, beg Jesus to help me fall asleep. Then it occurred to me that I had failed to make time for just He and I over the last several days. Granted, the world would say, "You've been busy with the move, and packing, and family...that's understandable." But I know that this distance is why I'm awake now. My Jesus adores me, and He missed me and couldn't wait any longer to tell me what was on His heart.

I told Him, "Please let me go back to sleep and I'll meet with you first thing in the morning, I promise." Then I thought about our arrangements...while we don't have anything planned for tomorrow (Sunday), it's not likely that I will slip away from the excitement and activity of our family. The houseboat where we're staying is fairly small and it's too miserably hot to spend much time outside without the moving air of the pontoon boat or jet ski. So I had to be honest with Jesus and myself, that's not true...you won't make the time. So now what? Maybe You want me to read something now? But what? As you read this post, you need to know that my knowledge of the Bible is very limited, and recalling exact references of scripture is very difficult for me. If it's something I've studied before, I can likely get you to the right book, but it's going to take me a while to find a specific scripture. So I start thinking...what am I suppose to read? I have been spending a lot of time in the Psalms lately, so maybe I'm suppose to read the next chapter? No, that didn't feel right. So I asked, what do You want me to read? Immediately I heard, "40." Psalm 40? I had read it the week before last, but couldn't remember what it said. So I got to thinking, I have my iPhone laying right here, I could just pull it up and not disturb anybody. Truth be told, I really, really didn't want to get out of the bed. As I reached for my phone, I thought, was that Psalm 40 or 140? "Both." Okie dokie...I'm wide awake anyway so here we go...

Psalm 40 - God sustains His servant.
I waited patiently for the Lord; and He inclined to me and heard my cry. (v.1)
Holy smokes!!! That's exactly where I am!!! I feel like I cried out to Him about this move for nearly six months, out of frustration and fear of the unknown, and on this side of it I know that not only did He hear me, but He answered my cries in huge ways...bigger than I could have imagined. Maybe I'm on the right track with reading...I didn't just make this up...

He brought me up out of the pit of destruction, out of the miry clay, and He set my feet upon a rock making my footsteps firm. (v.2)
One beautiful prophesy spoken over us at the very beginning of this journey was that God had already laid our path. All we had to do was walk it out. He had gone before us and prepared the way. Later Jesus elaborated...there would be twists and turns in the path, but it will all be good, keep my eyes focused only on Him and do not get distracted by what is happening off to the side, stay right with Jesus. Yes, Jesus, you have made our footsteps firm. You have guided us through every twist, turn and decision that came our way.

He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God; Many will see and fear and will trust in the Lord. (v.3)
My Boothmakers bible study group has a tradition of prayer over the birthday girl and blessing her with scripture on her birthday. My birthday was just two weeks ago and one dear friend gave me two women - Hannah (1 Sam 2:1-2) and Mary (Luke 1:46,47,49) and described me as a cheerleader for Jesus. She said that my heart and testimony would come forth in glorious praise just as these women lavished the Lord with their praises.

During our last week in Knoxville, several of our friends took time to pray over us and release prophesy over us as we enter this new season. Last Monday night, it was said of me that I have the spirit of Mary, a spirit of praise. One friend told me later that as soon as that word was spoken, he felt the Spirit fall thick and heavy in confirmation. Oh Jesus, what an honor to be compared to these amazing women!

Yes, Jesus...You have given me a new song. No longer do I desire to follow the rules of box checking religion, but I want to know You and spend as much time as possible lost in Your presence. It is a new song indeed! My prayer is that others will long to know You in this way and come to an intimate, safe and loving relationship with You...I know now what they're missing. It is sweeter and higher and better than anything this world has to offer!

How blessed is the man who has made the Lord his trust, And has not turned to the proud, nor to those who lapse into falsehood. (v.4)
My prayer from the beginning of this journey has been to step right where He says step and when He says step. I don't want to be one inch outside of His plan for me. In this approach my mantra quickly became, "I will trust You." It was often an act of the will. Following His ways didn't come naturally, but I intentionally chose to trust what He told me. For example, the world would have pushed us to take that first, low ball, offer on our house, two weeks after we listed it...but that's not what He had planned. He specifically gave us the list price and waited to see if we would take the easy guarantee or hold out for His promise. At the end of this season, I'm glad we held out. Yes, Jesus you have blessed our willful act of trust in You!

Many, O Lord my God, are the wonders which You have done, and Your thoughts toward us; There is none to compare with You. If I would declare and speak of them, They would be too numerous to count. (v.5)
Jesus has brought me to this verse numerous times in the last few weeks as the details of this job and relocation have unfolded. Many, many amazing wonders He has done in answering our prayers. He provided income, relocation, and tuition money above and beyond my wildest dreams! He is that good and He loves to lavish His blessings on me. Jesus, help me to always keep open eyes and open arms for Your blessings. Even though I can't count them, I don't want to miss a single one!

Your thoughts toward us? Do you, the busy God of the universe, really think about me? Oh yes, the fact that I am writing this at 5:30am is proof that You think about me. Those who know me personally know that I adore my sleep and there is little that can pry me from it, but tonight my Jesus was thinking of me and like a vortex, I couldn't resist but spend time with Him.

Sacrifice and meal offering You have not desired; My ears You have opened; burnt offering and sin offering You have not required. (v.6)
Over the last 18 months Jesus has taught me that He's not interested in my box checking...going to church on Sunday, doing good for the sake of 'doing good', or even leading a small group or reading my Bible if it's done out of obligation. Not only does He not want me to go through the motions for the sake of religion, but that behavior disgusts Him (Rev 3:15-16). What He wants is for me to give Him a chance...get to know Him, read about Him, talk to Him. He made me because He loves to spend time with me. That's what He wants from me...He wants me to love Him and allow me to let Him love me back.

Then I said, "Behold, I come; in the scroll of the book it is written of me. I delight to do Your will, O my God; your Law is within my heart." (v.7-8)
When I read this chapter a few weeks ago, Jesus pressed me to memorize verse 8. In fact, I wrote it on my hand as a reminder and a memory jogger throughout the day. Yes, Jesus...I want to write Your words on my heart and doing Your will brings such joy and peace to my heart because You have shown me, time and time again, that Your will is better than any shabby dream I can come up with on my own.

I have proclaimed glad tidings of righteousness in the great congregation; Behold, I will not restrain my lips, O Lord, You know. I have not hidden Your righteousness within my heart; I have spoken of Your faithfulness and Your salvation; I have not concealed Your lovingkindness and Your truth from the great congregation. (v.9-10)
Growing up, I was always taught not to 'hide my light under a basket'...remember that song? Once I got older, that message was translated into, "You're suppose to tell everybody about Jesus." Well, I didn't have much to tell, but because it's what you are 'suppose to do' I went along. So I forced myself to share what I knew...don't drink underage, be modest in your dress, don't mess around with boys, be at church on Sunday morning, and read your Bible every day. After all, these were the things good Christians did, right?

Over the last 18 months, the Holy Spirit has come alive in me and has transformed me from the inside out. All of those "don't dos" were not sacrifices anymore, or sheer acts of will, I simply didn't desire to do those things. With every encounter with Jesus, I wanted more. And more of Him often brought with it a transformation of my mind and my thinking. Now that I see life this way, I can't keep quiet!! Jesus is not the great hall monitor...He is beautiful and sweet and He wants desperately to love on me and pour our His blessings on my life and others. Now that's worth talking about!!

You, O Lord, will not withhold Your compassion from me; Your lovingkindness and Your truth will continually preserve me. (v.11)
My only fear now in moving to Mobile is being 'on my own.' For 18 months I have been like a baby, soaking up every ounce of Jesus stories I could get from my Boothmakers and others Jesus put in our path. My Boothmakers are a little farther along in their love affair with Jesus, and I can't get enough of their stories and wisdom. They are encouragement to me and I'm afraid I'll loose some of my passion and excitement if they're not there to spur me on. This verse is the answer to my fear...You will go with me to Mobile. You will show me compassion, lovingkindness and truth. While I will miss my Boothmakers desperately, My Jesus is all I really need.

For evils beyond number have surrounded me; my iniquities have overtaken me, so that I am not able to see; they are more numerous than the hairs of my head, and my heart has failed me. Be pleased, O Lord, to deliver me; Make haste, O Lord, to help me. Let those be ashamed and humiliated together who seek my life to destroy it; let those be turned back and dishonored who delight in my hurt. Let those be appalled because of their shame who say to me, "Aha, aha!" (v.12-15)
On two recent occasions, our last Sunday at our Knoxville church and in prophetic prayer last week, we were warned that we will be attacked. Satan hates nothing more than obedience to the Lord and praise of His goodness. We have done both, making us targets. In the last few days, we've already seen these attacks forming...little things, nothing detrimental, but they are coming all the same. On Tuesday I discovered that fraudulent charges had been made on our credit card and just now, even as I began to type this scripture, Haley woke up with a bad dream. The credit card issue was resolved quickly and painlessly and Haley is now calmly cuddling with MiMi. Because these first attacks have been minor, I know that we have a shield of protection around us as we begin this new season. We have had countless people tell us that they will be praying for us in the coming weeks and months as we transition into this new life and I firmly believe it is those prayers that have kept Satan's attacks at bay.

Let all who seek You rejoice and be glad in You; let those who love Your salvation say continually, "The Lord be magnified!" (v.16)
This is the purpose of this blog...to testify to all that God has done, all that He has taught us, and how great His love is for us. I hope you have found our journey to be encouraging. While I never set out to write this blog to receive praise from men, I am simply being obedient to what God tells me to share, I have already seen how He is using our experiences to bless others. This blog has only been up and running for just under three weeks. As of last night, it was approaching 1,000 hits. That is not something I can take credit for. I could not have spread the word that far if I had tried. Those hits are simply confirmation that these are His words for you...He has something He wants to tell you in these posts, so I pray that you will continually return to read about His extravagant love for you! Yes, Jesus...be magnified!!!

Since I am afflicted and needy, let the Lord be mindful of me. You are my help and my deliverer; do not delay, O my God. (v.17)
As a mere human living on this earth, I will always be needy. My vision and understanding are so limited in comparison to my Lord. The good news is that He adores me and longs to lead me through this life and help me to make the most of my time here on earth. Jesus, help me to always see myself as needy of You!

Psalm 140 - Prayer for Protection against the Wicked
Rescue me, O Lord, from evil men; preserve me from violent men who devise evil things in their hearts; they continually stir up wars. They sharpen their tongues as a serpent; poison of a viper is under their lips. Selah. Keep me, O Lord, from the hands of the wicked; preserve me from violent men who have purposed to trip up my feet. The proud have hidden a trap for me, and cords; they have spread out a net by the wayside; they have set snares for me. Selah. I said to the Lord, "You are my God; give ear, O Lord, to the voice of my supplications. O God the Lord, the strength of my salvation, you have covered my head in the day of battle. "Do not grant, O Lord, the desires of the wicked; do not promote his evil device, that they not be exalted. Selah. As for the head of those who surround me, may the mischief of their lips cover them. May burning coals fall upon them; may they be cast into the fire, into deep pits from which they cannot rise. May a slanderer not be established in the earth; may evil hunt the violent man speedily." (v.1-11)
Like I mentioned before, we are heading into this new season fully aware of the target on our backs. Satan is ready to come after us, to discourage us, to silence us, to cause us to doubt and to strike fear in us. Another prophesy spoken over us last week (Toby specifically) was to guard ourselves in Mobile. As Jesus taught us not to throw our pearls to swine (Matt 7:6) we are to be careful who we cling to for spiritual support. Newsflash...Satan is sneaky. It is totally within his character and history to put someone in our path that looks to be an encouragement, but will actually be destructive (Matt 7:15). Jesus, please open our eyes to those who seek to destroy us and the mission You have called us to. Protect our home from Satan's attacks and help us to stay on the offensive against him. Let our victories over him become great testimony to Your power and sovereignty!

I know that the Lord will maintain the cause of the afflicted and justice for the poor. Surely the righteousness will give thanks to Your name; the upright will dwell in Your presence. (v.12-13)
Another lesson I've learned in the last six months is that God will never ask me to do something and not provide the tools I need to do it. In the same way that Jesus has provided for our physical and financial needs in abundant measures, He will provide our spiritual needs. He will give us the tools we will need to fight off Satan's attacks. He will give us scripture, He will give us boldness and courage, He will give us prayer warriors to support us, and if need be, He will send His valiant angels to protect us. He has set this path into motion...our moving to Mobile was His idea, not ours, and if we are faithful to follow His leading and trust in Him, nothing will stand in the way of the fulfillment of this assignment!

My prayer for our little house is that it would be a dwelling place for the Holy Spirit. I pray that people will physically feel the Spirit's presence as they walk through our front door, and that we will so generously pour out Jesus' love that our visitors will not leave our home the same. Jesus, we give you the flip house and its property, come and dwell there, use it for Your glory to draw others to You, and please send your angels to protect the four corners of the property as Satan begins his attacks on our assignment.

I know this post was incredibly long, but I was not able to rest until I shared it with you. I am so blessed by these words from Jesus straight to my heart. It is true that He knows me so well and He knows exactly what I need to hear and when I need to hear it. If you have similar encounters with Jesus and His extravagant love, please share them...with everyone you come in contact with. Let it be written all over your face and demeanor. And if you get a chance, I'd love to hear them sometime, too. You can post a comment or send me an email at soakinginlife@gmail.com. I am always encouraged by other people's Jesus stories. Thanks for hanging in there through this post, I hope it was worth it!