Supernatural Peace

I can look back on the last 12 hours and CLEARLY see that I have been in the throws of a spiritual battle.  God has been fighting hard to guard my heart...and today He's won. 

Monday, brunch
I met a friend for brunch and had a wonderful chat.  I casually mentioned a verse I posted on FaceBook back in December, Isaiah 41:10.  I joked that I would cash it in when I was big and pregnant and tired.  Ha, note we are 3 weeks from meeting our baby girl.  The verse stayed with me all day and I couldn't shake it. 

Monday, afternoon
"Ever be" came on the radio and the words hit me.  Usually the screen on my car dash will rotate the radio station name, song name and artist, so you have to wait to catch the title.  This time it was oddly frozen on the song name.  I downloaded it to my phone right then.  

Monday, evening
The kids and I finished dinner and I sent them to get ready for baths.  I felt an urgency to prepare for the morning.  I finished cleaning the kitchen, prepped breakfast for a speedy presentation and prepared school lunches.  Usually, I take 10 minutes or so to get lunches ready in the morning, but I couldn't shake the feeling that the morning needed to go as smoothly as possible.  That didn't make sense.  There was no reason for the next morning to be rushed, but I followed through with the urge anyway and had everything ready to go for a simple morning. 

Monday, bedtime
I fell asleep with my kids snuggled in my big king size bed.  I woke up about 30 minutes later to finish some things around the house and get ready for bed myself.  When I laid back down sleep wouldn't come, despite several days of little sleep and big pregnancy exhaustion.  Normally, I can sleep like the flip of a switch, but not this night.  Something was unsettled. 

I blamed it on pregnancy insomnia and chose to cherish this precious time with sweet Lucy before she joins us.  Then I tried to visualize our new house in Belgium.  Thinking through the layout in my mind, how the rooms flow together, where we would put our furniture and imagining what it would be like to have my family fill that space.  Strangely all of the details were fuzzy.  I couldn't see it as clearly as I wanted to and that frustrated me.

I was still awake at 2am, which is 8am in Belgium.  I saw Nathan come online and we chatted for a few minutes before he left for work.  For the first time in this entire journey, I felt doubt creeping in.  Even as I expressed my thoughts to Nathan and confessed, "WHAT IN THE CRAP ARE WE DOING?!?" I looked at the texts I had written to him and thought, "Where is this fear coming from?  It is not my heart and it doesn't fit."  Yet the words and the questions continued to fly out into messages to him.  Something wasn't right, I could feel it, but his words of wisdom and excitement and reassurance of God's plan for us calmed my soul.

He left for work and I piddled on my phone a bit longer.  I went to the Bible App and made a graphic of the verse that had been bouncing in my head all day.  I don't know why, but I just wanted to see the words in big print.  The words of it didn't seem to fit.  I wasn't tired or exhausted like I expected to be at this stage, but yet the verse was there.  It was 8:30am in Belgium...in the middle of the attacks. 

Tuesday, 6am
I rolled over and grabbed my phone.  As has become my custom since Nathan's been in Belgium for the last two weeks, I checked my email.  By this point, it is noon there and he communicates updates with me via email while I'm sleeping.  I saw an email from him titled "Peace in the storm."  I opened it and heard his voice, "You'll be waking up to a lot of commotion about what has just happened at the Brussels airport...."  I praise God that Nathan's voice is the one to deliver the news of today's events.  I didn't see it from a random article on FaceBook or in passing on the news or from a text message from someone else.  I heard my sweet Nathan's voice.  It was calm, confident and full of reassurance.



I googled "Brussels airport" and read the first article that came up.  I did not want to see any other articles.  I don't need to know all of the gory, specific details.  Evil reared it's ugly head and that's all I need to know right now. 

I went to the living room with my journal and wrote as much as I could put into words.  The enemy was trying to bring fear, but God was fighting for my heart before the news ever transpired. 

Tuesday, breakfast
Due to my preparations the night before, breakfast, lunch packing and school prep went off without a hitch and out the door we went. 

My phone and FaceBook have been blowing up this morning with so many concerned for us and lifting our family in prayer.  I cannot thank you enough.  I don't think I've ever felt His presence as thick as I have this morning.  I can clearly see His hand on the last 12 hours.  I went to sleep battling this strange fear, but woke up to chaos in Belgium and a supernatural peace in my heart.  I have never been more confident of our move.  There is purpose for us there, even though we have no idea what that looks like.  I even find myself hungry to be there now, passing out hugs freely and sharing the hope of something bigger, sharing the great, unending love of Jesus.  Belgium is a dark place, but we are praying for a silver lining. 

Please pray for the people of Belgium.  It's so strange to love people so much that I've never met.  My heart hurts for them, but am so hopeful because God loves them so much!  Our greatest hope is to see His light spread.  What an honor to be a part and have a front row seat!  He can do anything, you know? 

Nathan is scheduled to fly back to the States on Thursday, but we are unsure of how these events will affect his travel.  Please also pray for a safe trip home.  Thank you for your support as we follow hard after Jesus. 

A blank page...filled with a grand adventure

A few years ago, Nathan and I sat down and discussed our vision for our children.  We talked about what characteristics we wanted them to have when they left our home and tested their own wings.  We want them to have a global worldview, to know that not everyone looks like them or lives like middle-class Americans.  We want them to be good communicators, to be critical thinkers, to be self-starters, and to be boldly obedient to the Lord.  This one conversation has had a massive impact on the way we parent and guide our children and the way we pray for them.  It's not something we dwell on, but it's always there in the back of my mind.

This spring I started reading The Circle Maker by Mark Batterson.  It was phenomenal for where I was in that season, but for whatever reason, I put it down around May.  It sat untouched on my dresser for months and in early September I picked it up again and finished reading.  The copy of the book that we have in our home happens to have a "sequel" bound with it, Draw the Circle.  Draw the Circle is a 40 day prayer challenge to follow The Circle Maker.  At the time, I was planning a huge workshop for my essential oil team at the end of October and we were about 45 days out.  I proposed to my team that we take this 40 day challenge together as we led up to the Live 320 event.  I was floored at how many participated and was in awe of the work the Lord was doing in their lives in that season.

Nathan did the challenge with us.  One day 1, Mark makes an interesting proposition.  He says that often we enter a season of prayer with a list and we pray hard over our list, begging God for OUR miracles.  He asks, What if we came to God with a blank piece of paper and allowed the Lord to write the list and then that is what we pray over?  Nathan and I took him up on this idea and I must admit it is REALLY challenging to come to God with nothing.  What do you say?  How do you start that conversation?  We started this season on a Monday, asking God to write our list.  On Tuesday we did the same.  On Wednesday, Nathan met up with his boss and randomly asked, "I know I've always said 'no', but are there opportunities available overseas?"  And with that one question, the ball started rolling. 

This is ironic for so many reasons.  Over the last 10 years of Nathan's engineering career, these offers for overseas assignments have come up a few times a year - Shanghai, Singapore, Germany.  We have entertained some of these options, mostly out of wishful dreaming, but always turn them down with it "not being the right time."  A few years ago, our dreaming got a little bigger and we looked at houses online in Shanghai and investigated schools and such, but after a few days we put that idea away.  Anna was 2 and it didn't feel right, but I remember the moment sitting in my living room and a knowing came over me...we will live overseas one day.  I have no idea when or where or how, but one day, we will.

During that conversation with his boss, something in his heart shifted.  Nathan called me from work and said, "Hey, what do you think about moving to Antwerp?"  My first reaction was, "I have no idea where that is!" So I googled it while we were on the phone, and I too felt something shift.  Over the next few days, conversations at work continued and a deep sense of confidence settled over both of us.  The only way I know to describe it is that it was the same feeling I felt on February 5, 2010, the day the God told us to leave Tennessee and return to Mobile.  By the time Nathan got home from work that night, there was nothing left to pray about.  God said "go" so now we go.  This same confidence settled in once again.  There are more questions than answers, but we know this is the way. 

Nathan said, "the Bible says to 'knock and it will be opened to you' so we're going to knock on this door.  If it doesn't open, then we have our answer and we walk away, but we're at least going to knock."  I added, "We will knock, but we're not going to ram-rod through the door."  He agreed.  So we knocked on the first door by Nathan asking questions and pursuing conversations...and the door opened and new ones presented themselves.  We knocked on those and they opened, too.  Through months of prayer, fasting, reading, and seeking wise counsel, we are both utterly convinced this is the next step the Lord has been preparing for us.  The last 10 years have been a roller coaster with many of the big things documented in this blog.  We'd love for you to read more of our story.  (Start from the oldest post and work your way forward.)  I've often said, "He continually asks us to do things that look scary and impossible, but every time He meets our needs bigger and better than we ever expected.  With each step our faith has grown, allowing the next step to be a little bit bigger."  We know there are mountains in front of us now and seasons of unknown, but we also know that He will go before us and He will blow our minds with what He has in store.  The catch is, we can't have those mind-boggling miracles tomorrow unless we walk in obedience today.

At the beginning of this journey, I kept hearing the Lord ask, "When does 'someday' become 'today'?"  He's right.  Living overseas is a dream that has been in our hearts for a long time, but if we're not careful we will "someday" our whole life away.  

I ran across a quote about a year ago and wrote it on my bathroom mirror.  I've seen it every day and I know now that God was working on our hearts...

"Walking into the promise of what could be, means leaving the comfort of what is."

So, we're moving to Belgium!  This summer we will leave everything we know and start at zero in a new place with a new language, a new culture and new people.  We couldn't be more excited! 

You can catch the big reveal here.

Nathan and I have talked for countless hours about what this move will mean for us, for our kids, for our families and those we love.  There are still so many variables and unknowns, but we've already seen God prepare the way and crack the floodgates.  Please join us on this journey and see all that He has to unfold over the next year.  I know it will be amazing and we pray that He will use our story to strengthen your faith, to give you a greater measure of confidence in Him.  He is trustworthy, He is good and He wants more for you than you can fathom.

"God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us."

Ephesians 3:20