WE'RE DEBT FREE!!!

"The borrower is slave to the lender" Proverbs 22:7

We are thrilled, thrilled, thrilled to have reached a HUGE goal for our family! First and foremost, this post is not meant to brag, but to give total glory to Jesus for the work He's done in our hearts, our lives, and our finances over the last few years.

So let me start by filling you in on the details. Early on in our marriage, Toby and I wanted to take some sort of Christian finance course for years - be it Dave Ramsey, Crown Financial, whatever. We just wanted to learn truth in this area and operate our finances from Biblical principles. At this time we were both working during the day and I was either working late nights for tax season or spending hours on end at the library in preparation for the CPA exam. So the timing just never really worked out...the times these classes were offered were not "convenient" for us. I've since learned, that we do what we really want to do and honestly, we just didn't make this as big of a priority as we should have earlier in our marriage.

Fast forward a few years...Toby got transferred to Tennessee and I quit my job to stay home with sweet Haley. Out of desperation for adult interaction, I started attending a moms group at a local church in Knoxville. While I never really clicked with any of the moms, other than the two that invited me, I still felt like I was suppose to go. Turns out that during my second semester in the group the course "Financial Peace University" by Dave Ramsey was offered as a choice. I was thrilled! Now, this was a "bare bones" version because they didn't charge the big fee (good thing, because we were broke) and we didn't get the materials, but we would watch the videos together each week. While Toby and I wanted to go through it together, I figured this was better than nothing, so I jumped on the opportunity. After two or three weeks, every one else in the class seemed to disappear and I was left alone. Several times I was left to watch the video...alone as even the leader went off to do other things. I didn't mind...at least I was getting exposure to this awesome information. Anyway, after two weeks of solitude, the leader asked me, "Do you just want to take the DVDs home a few at a time and watch them with your husband?" What?!? I was floored! So over the next few months, Toby and I watched the entire 13 lesson program...together, in our own time, with a chance to discuss it afterward. We were so grateful for this miracle!

Dave talks a lot about being debt free and now we can totally understand his point. Debt puts you in bondage and ties up your resources. It keeps you from being able to do other things for His kingdom with your finances. For us, we now know that we will serve in the ministry at some point, and God is positioning us to live "comfortably" with little or no income.

So we finished the DVDs in the fall of 2009 and took a good hard look at our financial situation. For the sake of giving God ALL the glory, I will go against all cultural norms and give you real numbers. At the close of 2009, here is what we were faced with:

$ 195,000 - mortgage on our TN house
$ 77,800 - mortgage on our vacant AL rental house
$ 8,300 - Toby's student loans
$ 19,400 - Carey's student loans
=$ 300,500 - total debt

Our monthly debt payments were as follows:
$ 1,400 - mortgage on our TN house
$ 918 - mortgage on our AL rental house
$ 82 - Toby's student loans
$ 173 - Carey's student loans
=$2,573 - total cash going out of our hands to the debtors each month

Now, you can do the math here. Toby had a great job, but once you tack on groceries, utilities, gasoline, etc, etc, etc...things were tight to say the least! However, as hard as those days were, God forced us to learn some really hard lessons. Lessons about stewarding His money well, lessons that we will carry for the rest of our lives. In those days, the choice laid out before me was A - get a job and put Haley in daycare or B - figure out how to stretch a buck. Since it was my heart's desire to be home with my babies, I got busy stretching away. We put Haley in cloth diapers, I made all of her baby food, I learned from a friend how to make my own laundry detergent, I learned all about cutting coupons and planning our meals around what was on sale. We rarely went out to eat and if we did it was to the cheap Mexican place where they would serve us endless free chips and salsa and we could split a $5 quesadilla. Most lunch dates consisted of sandwiches from home in the back end of my 4Runner, backed up to the river. Honestly, those are some of my favorite memories from Tennessee. We also learned that life went along just fine without fancy dinners out, new clothes, luxury cars, or extravagant toys for our daughter. God had blessed us with an incredible amount and we were learning that the "American dream" is not all it's cracked up to be. We were finally content with what we had and were able to take stock of things and start digging out from under our debt. [See the $ Savers tab for details.]

So, how did we get from there to here? Yes, we cut back tremendously in those first few months, but the monumental changes are all tied to the miracles God worked in moving us back to Alabama. In February 2010, God told Toby to quit his job, move us back to Alabama, attend "seminary" and live in our little vacant house. If you haven't heard this story, please take the time to read it...God is SO good! Anyway, after months of no job prospects in Mobile, one finally landed on the scene. With it came full relocation, additional funds for moving and temporary housing expenses, and they bought our TN house from us...for what we paid for it, even though it had declined in value during the two years we lived there. This was our starting point. So that takes care of our TN mortgage and we were able to put some of the extra moving funds toward Toby's student loans and knock them out. That alone was a huge relief...to finally have some breathing room in our finances!

Once we moved into our tiny, vacant rental house (that conveniently God was holding on to for us...haha, the joke's on us!) we refinanced the mortgage to get out from under PMI, cut the loan term to 15 years instead of 30, and significantly reduce the interest rate. Even with reducing the life of the loan, our mortgage payment now is still lower than it was before.

Over the course of the nine months that we've been in Mobile, we have been slowly chipping away at my student loans. Our pastors, John and Tracy, have said a million times, "You can't out-give God." One of the biggest things I admire about Toby is the stance he took at the very beginning of our marriage. He said, "No matter how tough things get, we will always give our tithe." And so we have. Faithfully, with each paycheck we have cheerfully turned over to God what belongs to Him...even though there were days I would day dream about how far that money would go, from my perspective anyway. We kept up our end of the deal when we moved to Mobile and with our first taste of financial freedom we began to offer above our tithe...a huge joy for my heart! Well, I think John and Tracy are right. For months now we have been receiving random checks in the mail...a refund on a utility bill from TN, or an overpayment due to a miscalculation on the closing of our refinance, or a dividend check I hadn't thought about...it seemed like the money just kept coming in! It was crazy! Now, nothing was huge...$40 here, $70 there, but those things add up and we knew where they were coming from. So all of those things combined with Toby's income and freedom from not paying other debtors each month, my student loan balance was falling quickly and yesterday I made the last payment...the payoff amount! It was a day that I never thought I'd see!

So, we still have our mortgage on our little Alabama house, but it's next in line. Again, I tell you all of this not to brag or boast of any wonderful thing we've done, but to point all glory to Jesus! He is the one who put the resources in our hands. He is the one who changed our hearts. He is the one who provided the new, amazing job. He is the one who provided the resources to give us the freedom He wants us to have. He is the one who paid off over $200,000 in debt in 18 months. We are thrilled to have this weight off of our shoulders, but even more so to be in a position to serve Him in whatever capacity He asks because we are not bound by these obligations anymore!

You can do this too. I promise, it can be done! But you must be intentional and you must seek His help. He will guide your heart and give you wisdom to walk it out. If you've overcome this hurdle, I would love to hear your story. Please feel free to post a comment or send me an email at soakinginlife@gmail.com.

We finally have a home!

When we moved to Mobile in August of last year, it was clear that our assignment was to visit as many churches as we could...to come out of our corner, to see how the rest of the body loves Jesus. Our intention was not to find a home, but to learn. Knowing that we have been called into the ministry, at some level at some point in time, we acknowledged that once we do get plugged into a church, we will be obligated to be there each Sunday, so now was our chance to visit around and see the rest of the body.

We visited everything from conservative Southern Baptist to Church of Christ to dancing in the isles and speaking tongues charismatic. It was an awesome season...and a hard season. We were stretched and taught in so many ways. We were blessed to learn about how others worship, pray and teach. It was beautiful to see different sections of the body loving my Jesus. It was hard in other ways...not having a home base or anybody who knew our names, and being faced with things we didn't like or understand. In some cases we could immediately put our finger on something and say, "this is not something we want to duplicate." Other situations or teachings stretched our understanding and forced us to dig, research and lean in to the Spirit's leading. As we entered our fourth month of this season, both Toby and I were becoming hungry for a home...a place to plug in, a place to love others and be loved, a place where encounters with the Spirit would be matched with healthy, grounded Biblical teaching. The problem arose that most of the churches we visited were either one extreme or the other. Any that we had visited that displayed some sort of balance were not home...Papa had not given His peace.

As I shared a while ago, along with our church hopping last fall, came a good bit of loneliness and depression. The day after I let all of that anger and mess go, I happened to have my radio tuned to the Christian radio station...a rarity in my world as I am normally held captive by Psalty, the Singing Songbook. Anyway, I caught the tail end of a blip on the radio for South Coast Church. Because I had become accustomed to seeking out new churches over the last few months, I made a mental note to look it up later. At home I pulled up the website and was drawn in by what I read. The mission and vision statement caught my attention..."At SCC we believe the stronger the foundation the further the reach. In order to accomplish the Great Commission given by our Lord Jesus Christ, we must teach people to live by the Word of God, be led by the Spirit of God, and to reach out to others with the love of God." That was it...the balance of Spirit and Truth we've been looking for! (John 4:24) I shared it with Toby that night, and I just couldn't shake it over the next few days.

Please feel free to check out their website to learn more...South Coast Church of Mobile.

So I hear this blip on the radio on Monday. On Tuesday, I was going out of my way to get Haley a Wendy's frosty before making a long trip across town. On our way to Wendy's I noticed a yard sign out of the corner of my eye...South Coast Church. I had to do a double take! We live in a little community just north of Mobile, so I was really surprised to see somebody in our neighborhood that was associated with this church that God had just brought across my radar screen.

On Sunday morning we visited for the first time, totally expectant that God was going to show us something big. We ran into a sweet lady just inside the front door. We told her how we had heard about the church and how we had visited many others in the previous months. Her reply was prophetic..."Well, I think you've found your home." As we found our seats Toby and I looked at each other thinking, that was odd. During the last few days I had searched out a new worship song, but downloaded a different one by mistake..."Your love never fails." I didn't mean to download it, but God's in control of even these little things. I quickly latched on to this new song and listened to it repeatedly throughout the week. So worship started up and what was the first song in the set? Of course, "Your love never fails." It was fairly new then and we hadn't heard it played in a service before...I stood there, stunned. My heart was so overwhelmed and held such a peace that I spent the rest of the worship set literally on my face in the center isle. I felt the months of despair falling off and hope start growing! Could this be our home?

Toby and I walked away from that service with a sense of belonging and an excitement for what God was doing with this body. They were holding a new member type class that evening and I felt compelled to attend...partly out of nosiness, partly out of obedience. Toby stayed home with Haley and I went alone. The pastor spoke about the essentials that a Christian should have in their life and he briefly touched on the foundation and direction of the church. I couldn't argue with one thing that came out of his mouth. We were in complete agreement. He mentioned a womens bible study that would be forming soon and would be led by his wife, so after the meeting I made my way to her. She was busy talking with others, so I ended up talking with another mom I had met that morning. After a 30 minute chat, I discovered that it was her yard sign, 20 miles away, that I had seen earlier that week! We ended our conversation, I had given up on waiting for the pastor's wife, and was getting ready to say goodbye when she opened her arms and pulled me into the sweetest hug. Now, I'm a plenty huggy person myself, so this didn't bother me. What caught me off guard was that she initiated this hug. I melted right there...in the arms of this total stranger! As she embraced me, I felt the Spirit's voice...I know what you need. You will find love here. I walked to my car in an almost out of body experience. That was my first day on that campus and yet I felt like I'd been there for years. In this moment, my soul was more settled than it had been in months. I called Toby from my car..."I think we've found our home."

Toby and I continued to discuss and dream about what kind of ministry God would place us in or what goals and doctrine would be associated with it. After these conversations, it would never fail that our pastor would address the exact issue in his sermon the next Sunday! Toby and I would always glance at each other and exchange an amazed chuckle. This happened, not just once, but at least four or five times. Our God is so good!

In the coming weeks we met with the pastor and his wife, talked with many people in the congregation and leadership, and attended the new member classes. Turns out, this awesome, growing church with God's favor written all over it...it's six months old! Two years ago, this couple was running a very successful aviation company in Tulsa, OK when God asked them to sell their business, return to Mobile (the pastor's hometown) and plant a church...so they did. With their 5 teenagers in tow and great trust and obedience they pulled into Mobile last summer and launched South Coast Church in September 2010. Six months later, we are still seeing lots of new faces every Sunday with an average attendance around 150. I am continually amazed at His faithfulness!

In the months that followed, God has repeatedly brought to mind some wisdom shared with us. Just before we left Tennessee, we met with our pastor and his wife for dinner. While they both shared tons of invaluable advice and wisdom, one statement stands out..."Look for a little church that's just getting started. Get in on the ground floor so you can see all areas of ministry. If you jump on board with a mega church, they're going to put you in charge of left-handed, 7th grade boys and that's all you'll get to see." The accuracy of this statement almost makes me laugh. Our new church home is 6 months old, with one couple running the whole show without pay. I'm not sure how much more "ground floor" we could get! I've found myself telling people, "This is the church we would have planted had we planted it ourselves."

God is good...all the time. I know He had a purpose for the hard months we spent without a home. Some lessons we have already learned, others will come out in due time. But for now, we are thrilled to join forces with this awesome church family and can not wait to see what God has in store for us as a family, for us as a church family, and for the city of Mobile. If you're in the Mobile area and are not settled with a church home, we would love for you to join us! Even if it's strictly out of curiosity...He's not afraid or intimidated by your curiosity, nosiness or questions. C'mon and see what God is doing!

Hope is Rising

In order to give God all the due credit for the changes He's made in my heart, I have to give you some gory details of where I've been over the past few months. God moved us to Mobile from Tennessee in August of last year for Toby to begin his Masters in Theology in pursuit of full time ministry...someday. Miracle after miracle confirmed that this was truly His plan for us and not some hairbrained idea we cooked up.

Because we lived in Mobile for three and a half years before moving to Tennessee, I guess I assumed we would pick up our friendships where they left off when we moved back. We had done a fair job of keeping in touch with our Mobile friends while we were in Tennessee, but I'm sure we could have done better. So we moved back in August and started to meet up with a few people for dinner or to watch a football game, but all in all we ended up on our own most of the time. At first I chalked this up as everyone being busy with their own schedules or us living a fair distance from the area where most of our friends live. But after a while, we came to the realization that most of our "friendships" we had established before were really just acquaintances with common situations and we found ourselves basically alone, starting over in a new city yet again. Toby and I have moved to three cities during our six years of marriage, so starting over wasn't a new concept to us. I guess I had just assumed that since we'd been here before it would be easier this time.

We tried to make friends in our neighborhood or invite Toby's coworkers over for dinner, but plans always seemed to fall through. As I started focusing on the reality of our situation, I allowed loneliness, hurt and fear to creep in. Eventually this hurt and anger festered into bitterness and isolation. I found myself isolating myself from the few relationships we did have, from Toby and often even from my sweet Jesus. I just wanted to sit and cry or better yet sleep and forget it all. I would almost say that the beginning stages of depression were closing in on me. I knew it, and I allowed it. I didn't have any strength or reason to fight it off...or so I thought. There have been so many days over the last few months when I would put Haley down for a nap and retreat to my room and simply sob...over my loneliness, my fear of what our life in Mobile would turn into, grief over missing my friends in Tennessee, and the truth over what I'd allowed my life to become. I'm sure on the outside everything still looked peachy and happy, but I was dying inside. I had never known loneliness and isolation like this before. And I'm sure my raging pregnancy hormones only added fuel to the fire.

Because I was fully aware of my poor attitude and the power to change it was in my hands, I avoided my sweet Jesus. I didn't want to hear what I knew He wanted to say...but that didn't stop Him. For months I didn't sleep well. I often woke up at strange hours of the night and would be wide awake. Because I normally sleep like a log, I knew this was Him begging me to please come to Him...but I resisted. Somehow I liked being angry. It gave me some sick purpose and I wasn't ready to give it up yet. Yes, I know I'm stubborn...it's in my blood. Christmas was actually a welcome distraction. The busyness and family time offered me a convenient excuse to pretend like I was too busy for them and it took the edge off of Jesus' absence. But as soon as the holidays were over, the family had gone home and life returned to normal, the emptiness started to eat me alive.

I wrestled with it in my mind all the time and my poor Toby took the brunt of it. My short and hurtful words and attitude toward him were evidence that things weren't ok, but he did a great job of sticking it out and not fighting back, even though he had no idea what was wrong or how to fix it. Finally, finally I gave in last week. Knowing that things would only get worse, I would only fall farther from my sweet Jesus, and I was missing out on His blessings every day that I pushed Him away...I had to fess up. I sat on my bed and journaled for the first time in weeks. I poured out the truth about my loneliness, hurt, anger and bitterness and oh man, it's one thing to know the truth, but it's quite another to confess it to the One who loves you the most. That was a hard pride pill to swallow, but by His grace I did it.

After I poured my thoughts out on paper I picked up where I left off reading in Judges and fell across the theme verse for the book, "Every man did what was right in his own eyes" (Jdg 17:6) I couldn't get past this verse. I read it over and over and over again. Knowing He had something to add, I forced myself to be open to what the Spirit wanted to say. "You don't have community. You felt like you could get away with this (i.e. anger) and look where it's gotten you - You're bitter and separated from me. Satan is dragging you from the herd to destroy you." I knew He was right and all I could do was cry out for Him to save me...to draw me back under His safe wings of protection...to change my heart. I felt as though a boulder had been lifted from my shoulders.

The change wasn't immediate, but hour by hour and day by day I could feel the heaviness lifting. He would put a scripture or a person in my path that would push me in the right direction. Now, a week later I have allowed forgiveness to cleanse my soul and I can finally breathe easier!

The amazing thing about how much my Jesus loves me is that as soon (and I do mean "as soon") as I confessed this ugliness and asked Him to heal me, He immediately began to pour out healing and answered my prayers. The next day I attended the first meeting of a new women's bible study...a time that I have desperately missed since leaving my beloved Boothmakers in Tennessee. While I didn't establish any huge friendship bonds that day, simply being able to talk about my Jesus with a group of women brought so much healing to my weathered soul. The next day I attended a MOPS meeting for the first time since before Christmas. I had seen these women for months in MOPS, but again just spending time with other moms who understand my world was so refreshing! Then, I got off my butt and invited a MOPS friend to lunch. Our families met at a restaurant for lunch and I so enjoyed the company and the new friendships that were forming, not just with me and my new friend, but also between our husbands and children. Toby had also invited a coworker to dinner, so they came over that evening with their new baby and we enjoyed the beginnings of possibly another new relationship. On Sunday morning, we visited yet another new church, but something felt different about this one and so I left Toby to put Haley down for bed and attended their Sunday night meeting. The people were so genuinely sweet and interested in me and my story that I felt right at home. Afterwords I ended up in a conversation with another young mom. After a thirty minute conversation I discovered that we have tons in common and she lives just around the corner from us! At the end of our conversation, I told her I was glad to have met her and enjoyed our talk and she instinctively opened her arms and gave me a huge hug. It wasn't awkward or weird for a stranger to reach out to hug me (I'm a hugger myself), but I knew those were my sweet Jesus' arms wrapped around me. Tears came over me as I walked to my car and He told me, "I see you. I know what you need and I love you so much. We're going to make it through this."

As I've thought about where I allowed myself to go, I have to admit that I am no better than the stupid Israelites I so easily make fun of. They watched the ten plagues fall on Egypt. They saw the Red Sea part as they crossed on dry land. They ate food from heaven day in and day out and yet days after all of these miraculous events they started whining about BEING HUNGRY, of all things, and they wanted to go back to Egypt! What idiots, I would think to myself. Well, here I am...God worked out every single obstacle in our way...He bought our house, He gave us a well paying job in Mobile, He even gave us movers to move our things, and I am whining about being lonely and pouting about wanting to go back. There is absolutely no difference in my story and theirs. I turned my back on Him just as quickly as they did, but the good news is that our God is rich in mercy and grace. He is quick to forgive my selfishness and disobedience and tucks me under His wing as soon as I let down my guard. I will never understand the depths of His love for me, but man am I grateful.

As part of my healing process last week, I finally allowed myself to worship with Toby. We turned on worship from Bethel through the internet and I spent most of the hour in tears, and then almost numb as I felt His healing wash over me like a soothing balm. At the end of the night, Toby, still not know the half of what was going through my mind at the time, handed me his bible with a verse underlined and said, "this is what I got for tonight" ..."Therefore the Lord longs to be gracious to you, and therefore He waits on high to have compassion on you. For the Lord is a God of justice; How blessed are all those who long for Him." (Is 30:18) I read through the first part of the chapter and wouldn't you know that it talks about how Israel had run off to Egypt for help without God's permission or instruction. They had taken matters into their own hands out of fear, but He was still full of grace and compassion for them. Thank you Jesus for the exact words I needed to hear on that night, for restoring my heart, for forgiving all of my mess, and for loving me enough to pick me up right where I am and keep on going. You are far more wonderful than anything I deserve.

Home Sweet Home

We followed Jesus' lead and moved to Mobile, Alabama 2 1/2 months ago, knowing there would be tons of adjustments ahead. One of the biggest was our home. We had a house waiting for us (cool story, click here and here to read about it), so we were grateful to skip over the house hunting headache. The problem was that our new house is about half the size of our house in Tennessee. Like most red-blooded Americans we started our marriage with the biggest house we could afford and subsequently upgraded with the next one. And what good is that big, pretty house without lots of nice things to fill it? I am almost ashamed to say that I was dreading leaving my beautiful, 2-story, 5 year old house for one that was half the size, six times the age and severely lacking many of the conveniences...snobby, I know.

In the last few weeks, God has helped me to understand that "home is where the heart is". Before this experience, I would have told you this wise Cracker Barrel saying was true, but now that I've lived through it, I can honestly say that it's not the size of the house or it's fancy furnishing that make it home...it's the love that is shared within the walls. Soon after our move here, God told us to "possess the land" and so "possess" we have done. In fact, this small, old house strangely feels more like home than any other place we've lived. I guess it's the extra effort we have put into making this house really become ours. Our previous two houses were beige...beige carpet, beige walls, beige furniture...blah. Truth be told, I hated it. But we were too concerned with resale value to actually make our house like we wanted it. This house has been different...we've painted the kitchen, Haley's room and the hall bathroom (and they're all different colors, mind you) and we've screened in the back porch so we can enjoy the outdoors all year. But even with all of these cosmetic changes, it's been the life we've lived in the last few weeks that has transformed this house into our home.

One day last week I grew a wild hair and made homemade cinnamon rolls and orange rolls. And when I say, "homemade" I'm talking flour, yeast, the whole nine yards! I love to bake, but this was my first time baking on this level, unsupervised and all by myself. I wish I could show you a picture, but my orange rolls were less than impressive looking, but oh how they were delicious! A little tweaking to account for this ridiculous Mobile humidity and I think they'll be perfect. A big thank you to the Pioneer Woman for the recipe! (recipes: cinnamon rolls / orange rolls) From this point forward when we make these rolls for guests or the holidays, they will always be tied to this sweet house.

Today, a new friend came over to make laundry detergent with me. Now, I realize that saying this out loud makes me sound like a 1950s housewife, but this is one of my favorite money saving tips! With about $4 and 30 minutes of effort, you can have a year's worth of laundry detergent stashed away. I first made this recipe last year on Halloween weekend, having been inspired by a super creative Tennessee friend, and am just now making another batch today. This is crazy easy and I hope you'll get a chance to check it out. My friend today even said she has one of those new fancy HE washing machines and her research has said this detergent will work fine with it! Please let me know if you discover differently. Thanks to the Duggars for this recipe, by far my favorite TV family. (recipe: laundry detergent)

As great as these things have been, they are still topped by the surprise my Jesus had waiting for me in the front yard last week. I pulled up in the driveway to see flowers blooming in my...ahem...flower bed. Our poor flower bed has been all but neglected over the last three years. While we were in Tennessee, a great friend kept up with the lawn and last fall gave the flower bed a face lift, but it hasn't received much attention since then. Among all of the weeds was a group of beautiful, purply-pink flowers...I wish I knew enough about flowers to tell you what kind, but my Jesus knew how much I would love them and I have really enjoyed having this little bloom in my front yard!
For those of you keeping up with Toby's schooling (aka, the reason we returned to Mobile), he got an A in his first class and his second class starts this week. This new class is "Christian Worldview" and is an undergraduate class required by all university students. My understanding is that it teaches the students to approach their professions through a "God-filter." I think I'm just about as excited as Toby. His books for this class are Think like Jesus by George Barna, How Christianity Changed the World by Alvin Schmidt, Mere Christianity by C.S Lewis and God at Work by Gene Veith. Our prayer for the coming weeks is for Toby's reading. He's not the biggest fan of reading, so tackling four books in six weeks will be a challenge! Hopefully he will only be required to hit the highlights in each one...we'll see. Thank you for your continued support and prayers in this journey. It's been an awesome ride so far...

Stuff, stuff and more stuff

The moving truck showed up Monday morning and immediately began working in a fury. We knew that moving from 2,100 sq feet to just under 1,100 sq feet would pose some challenges, but we had no idea how it would all work out. We planned to take advantage of the moving company's "unpack" option, but I set up post in the living room, unpacking one box at a time trying feverishly to keep up with them as they unloaded the furniture. I have to say, I did pretty well up until lunch time. Once the furniture was unloaded and somewhat in place, the boxes quickly became overwhelming and seemed never ending! Due to our tiny master bedroom and massive California king size bed, we opted for the master bedroom boxes to go outside on the porch. We downsized from two walk-in closets to one tiny closet...some (a lot) of stuff was going to have to go! Fortunately, we bought a shed and had it set up during our six weeks here without furniture and it quickly became the default for anything from the garage, yard, or otherwise miscellaneous.

The back patio loaded with master bedroom boxes.

The shed, all be it unorganized, loaded to the brim.

I am so grateful that Toby's dad stayed the whole week with us to help unpack and tackle the seemingly endless project list. My mom kept Haley so we could work without having to structure the day around nap times and early bed times. By the time Haley came home on Thursday morning, her room was finished and the rest of the house was in some semblance of order. She walked into the living room, took in her surroundings and then flopped on the floor as if to say, "I know this stuff...this is my stuff." Next, we took her to her big girl room, complete with all of her toys, books, new curtains and a chest full of dress up clothes and accessories. Again, she flopped on the floor with great relief and what seemed like understanding. In the days since, she has loved her big girl room and often plays in there by herself. While it was really sad to say goodbye to her baby days in Tennessee, it's kind of fun to think of her turning into a little girl here in this house.

After the movers unpacked all of our boxes, except those belonging in the master bedroom, we started to shove things in every nook and cranny our little house offers. And when I say the movers "unpacked" our boxes, that really means they took everything out of the boxes in a matter of minutes and piled their contents on any flat surface available. The chaos was ridiculous, but with many hands working it didn't take long before some vague sense of order was established. We quickly realized that all of our stuff was not going to fit in our new, tiny home, so we started a yard sale pile. What? It's good stuff, no need to throw it away when somebody else could find good use for it, right? Crazy that on Tuesday a friend came over to help organize and she mentioned that they are having a yard sale this coming Saturday. Ha! My sweet Jesus knew that was coming and He set up a way for us to pay forward our blessings. Just as we were so incredibly blessed by our friends in Knoxville with our yard sale in April, we were now in a place to pass it on here in Mobile!

I am very pleased to report that we have made monumental progress in the last week with getting our house settled. We have pictures on the walls and no more cardboard boxes inside, but we've still got a ways to go. Anybody that has ever moved knows that it takes several weeks to get things "settled"...shuffling the spatulas, knives and cereal in the kitchen cabinets, figuring out how to transfer the laundry from the washer to the dryer since they are on opposite sides here, and establishing a home for the daily mail to land in the afternoons. All of these things take time, but after being here for nearly two months, the unrest is starting to get to me. I'm ready for normal again and the establishment of a new routine. When do we do laundry and go grocery shopping? When do we have play dates with friends and run errands? When do we clean the house and meet Toby for lunch? This new normal is what I'm missing. Because we have lived in five places in the six years we've been married, we've been here before...this unrest, and I know that things will come into a routine in time. It's just a matter of patience.

My sweet Jesus used my sweet Toby to speak straight to my heart yesterday. Just as this unrest became stifling, there was a knock on the door. On the other side stood a woman holding two beautiful bouquets of flowers. Totally confused I asked her to set them down and I noticed that my name was on both cards. I opened them and read, "A little something to brighten up our new home," and "I hope you like your new room, sweetie. Your daddy loves you!" Toby even went as far as to get yellow flowers to match our kitchen and purple ones to match Haley's room. He told me later that Jesus told him to send them. For those of you that don't know me, I love fresh flowers. There is nothing else that makes my home feel more welcoming and settled than fresh flowers on the kitchen table. This gift was exactly what my soul needed on that dreary afternoon.

Closing a chapter

During the months of uncertainty...knowing we were going to move to Mobile, but having no idea when or how...I would often look around our house and imagine packing my things into boxes and loading a U-Haul. As I studied all of our books and knick knacks, imagined the mountains of clothes hanging in our closet, and the comical volume of kitchen paraphernalia I quickly became overwhelmed at the thought. As a result, I pretended like it didn't really have to be done, so I packed nothing...not one box in preparation for our impending move. When sweet Jesus swept in to show us what He had been working on during these months, part of His icing was full relocation...including movers...a gift I do not underestimate or take for granted!

Last Wednesday we made the trip back to Knoxville in preparation for the big move...the day we had been waiting for for almost eight months. When we pulled into our old neighborhood, Toby and I had very different reactions. Toby was instantly homesick and would have relocated the entire neighborhood to Mobile given the chance. He loved that house and community. I really loved our house too, but somehow it felt really strange being back there again...almost like I didn't belong, like I was just visiting. My heart broke when we pulled into the driveway and I heard Haley's sweet voice from the backseat..."home...home." We tried to explain that this was our old home now and that we were going to take our things to the "new house." She didn't seem to understand. As we walked into the house she ran straight for her toys in the living room. They were just where we had left them...where they had always been. Her Ariel doll, teddy bear and rabbit were even still sitting in their toddler seats around her little table. She was so excited to see all of her familiar things, and this confirmed to me just how unsettled she's been these last few weeks. For a two year old, she's handled this move remarkably well, but I recognize there's only so much she can comprehend.

Next we went upstairs and she again made a beeline for her bedroom. It was as if she were being reunited with long, lost friends. She was talking to her stuffed animals, filling them in on all they had missed in the last six weeks. She showed us almost all of her toys, as if we had forgotten what they looked like since we'd been gone. As we left that night to stay with a friend, a part of me was heartbroken to pull her from the house. This would be the last time she would see her baby room like she remembered it...

The movers arrived bright and early Thursday morning. They had driven up from Mobile, and were two of the greatest guys to work with. They were very professional, hard working and efficient. Sweet Jesus even gave Toby several opportunities to share our story and encourage them in their own walk with Him. For insurance reasons, we were not allowed to pack anything...shucks! But we were required to be on the property at all times to oversee the crew.

Toby was wonderful to manage the movers (aka sit on the back porch and read) while I went off gallivanting with my friends. I was thrilled to get to see some of my Boothmakers for a treat of a breakfast at MiMi's Cafe and we made homemade cinnamon rolls in the afternoon. On a side note, I LOVE to bake, but I had never baked any bread treat from scratch like this before, so this was so much fun for me...and a welcome distraction. Thanks to the Pioneer Woman and her blog, these turned out excellent! I can't wait to try them again with a new twist sometime soon.
On Friday I left Haley with a friend and stopped by the house to see how things were going with loading the truck. When I arrived the downstairs was nearly cleared out. Only my window treatments remained as evidence of our time here. As I went upstairs and walked from room to room, taking in the sight of all my belongings packed away in cardboard boxes, I stopped dead in my tracks when I got to Haley's room. A sudden panic came over me as I realized her baby room was gone! I made my way to her rocking chair and allowed myself to relive the past two years...endless hours in this very rocker nursing my tiny baby, her sweet baby pink and white striped walls, her pink name on the wall above her crib, the place where I had changed countless diapers as I listened to her coo. I saw her trying her first bite of rice cereal and taking her first steps across the living room floor. I saw her swinging in her baby swing outside and gaining confidence to go down the slide by herself. It hit me like a ton of bricks that my baby is not a baby anymore. She's two now and learning and doing mountains of new things every day.

It occurred to me that this is a totally natural and normal response...grieving the passing of a child's season. I've been told a million times how fast they grow up. But a piece of me was sad that we don't get to gently transition into the next season. I feel like this move has put a hard and fast wall between baby and big girl and I allowed myself time to grieve the end of that season. I know we will have more babies...God has promised me that, but there's something special about doing it for the first time. All of the uncertainties in being a new mom and discovering all the wonderful things about my new, tiny baby and transitioning into a parent. I will always treasure the two years we lived in Tennessee...for tons of reasons, including my sweet Haley's baby years. (And goodness knows we have plenty of pictures to help me relive it whenever I want!)

As I drove away from our house, for the very last time, it felt as if the door had finally closed. We have known for nearly eight months now that this day was coming and now it was here. My sweet Jesus let me drive away with a supernatural peace...a peace that we had accomplished what we came for in Tennessee...to know Him better and to build friendships that will last a lifetime. Now it was finally time to say goodbye and march into the next season with the greatest confidence that He will guide our steps there too.

Goodbye to our wonderful home in Tennessee...we will always treasure our memories here!

Possess the land

"See, the Lord your God has placed the land before you; go up, take possession, as the Lord, the God of your fathers, has spoken to you. Do not fear or be dismayed." Deuteronomy 1:21

possession - to occupy (be driving out previous tenants and possessing in their place); by implication to seize; to rob, to inherit, also to expel

I have spent the last year in the Pentateuch with my Boothmakers and we have been studying the life of Moses and the journey of the nation of Israel. While my tiny house in Saraland, Alabama is no promised land, we have been commanded to take possession of it. When God called the Israelites to take the Promised Land, He did not ask them to merely live there and inhabit it for a while. He wanted them to take it away from the enemy's control, to redeem it and use it for His glory! The last few weeks have felt this way for me with our little house. While we do have a roof over our heads and all the other basic necessities, this house is meant to be more than a place to endure for a few years until something new comes along. Our command here is to possess it! We are to be offensive in seizing this property, sending out the enemy and taking it from his control. We are to redeem it and make it a holy place for the Spirit to freely dwell.

On the surface level, this has been a fairly difficult task, seeing as nearly all of our belongings are still in another state. For you wives out there, I know you understand. There is a nesting instinct that God gives us to make our homes a haven for our families. My sweet Jesus has seen my nesting struggle with only an air mattress and card table to work with and has sent me off on a new project this week...decorating Haley's room. Strangely, because she got a "big girl bed" when we moved, she has more furniture at the moment than the rest of the house. This past weekend I worked with my mom to pick out fabric for curtains and brainstorm some other ideas. Yesterday I painted the letters of her name for her wall and today I painted circles on the walls to match a fabric we picked out. Now, for those of you who don't know me...I'm an accountant, not an artist. In fact, I have always considered myself in serious lack of creativity and artistic ability. Even if I were to come up with some fun idea, I wouldn't have the artsy instincts to pull it off, it would look ridiculous. This being said, God gave me a Bezalel day today! (Again, from the world of Moses...Bezalel was given supernatural ability to envision and construct the holy objects for the tabernacle in the wilderness...cool story, check it out...Exodus 35:30-35) Knowing that I do not possess the artistic ability to paint, my Jesus gave me the creativity to envision and ability to execute some really cute circles on the walls of my baby girl's bedroom. I know this may seem silly, but it has done wonders in making this house our possession. I can start to envision our lives progressing here...Haley growing up, bringing home a new baby, learning about ministry, and sharing my Jesus with my neighbors. It is these visions that are making this house my possession. We have taken it back from Satan's control and are turning it into a home and a dwelling place for the Holy Spirit.

Operation Cookie Dropoff - Phase 4
So, months ago my Jesus gave me 5 houses on our street that I am suppose to initiate relationships with. Tonight I delivered cookies to house number 4. The husband was home, but I didn't meet the wife. Their front lawn boasts scripture and University of Alabama paraphernalia. The scripture got me excited and I decided to excuse the UA stuff. (For those of you outside the state borders, the Alabama/Auburn rivalry is intense and all state residents are required to pick a side...we happen to be loyal Auburn fans.) This gentleman was very nice and seemed genuinely interested in our story. He shared openly about his love for the Lord and I am looking forward to getting to know this family better. Like every other neighbor we've met, he had a few stories about the previous owners of our house, none of which cast them in a nice light. Just another reminder that Satan no longer has authority over this property and that we are on the offensive to take the rest of this neighborhood back for Jesus!

Now, let me tell you how smart my Jesus is...five houses, right? The two on either side of us, the one directly across the street, one two houses down on the corner and the last is on the corner of the next street on the other side. I didn't think much of this until we moved in, but there is a house between the one across the street and the one I visited tonight. I wondered why I wasn't suppose to go there, and figured I'd "pick it up" after I finished my specific five. I didn't want to leave anybody out and that seems odd given that it's in the middle of the others. Well, come to find out...the guy that owns the house on the corner that I met tonight, also owns the one next to him...the one not on my list. His sister-in-law used to live there, but as of February of this year, that house is vacant! Haha!! No wonder Jesus left that one off my list! Sheesh! When will I learn to follow directions? He is so in control and so has a plan. I'm curious about the last house on my list and will be anxious to share it with you next week. Until then, keep chasing after Him...He's all good!

Another week under our belt

Another week has come and gone and we're settling in a little more each day. Last week was full of activity. We met a friend at the park one day, attended a MOPS group and checked out the Exploreum. It seems that every day holds the inevitable trip to Wal-Mart, Lowe's or both, but luckily our lists seem to be getting shorter each day. Haley has been such a trooper, not that she's given much of a choice. Wednesday morning we met a friend and her little boy in Mobile for a morning at the park. The time to run, climb, swing and simply be outside was very refreshing for both Haley and me.
On Thursday morning we ventured out to a MOPS meeting. MOPS, Mothers of Preschoolers, is an international ministry that I was involved with in Tennessee, so when I saw it in the bulletin of the church we visited last Sunday, it caught my attention. The group at this church is fairly new, but they were very sweet and welcoming. Haley had fun playing and really liked checking in on the little babies, and I had an opportunity to meet moms that are in the same life stage as me. We had breakfast, an ice breaker, a speaker/video and a craft. I was really glad I went and will likely go back.

Friday morning we trekked off to the Exploreum. Not being much of a science enthusiast or having any children when we lived here before, I didn't pay much attention to it during our first tour in Mobile. After doing some research online, it looked like a fun place for Haley to play, explore and learn and boy was I right! The vast majority of the offerings there are way over her head, but there is a toddler area designed for children five and under that is awesome. It is blocked off, so she can run and play on her own without me worrying about her wandering off. In fact, we bought a membership so we can enjoy this great play time on hot or rainy days...both of which come around often in these parts. With our membership, we can even take other friends along with us!

By Friday afternoon I could tell that Haley was pooped, so we opted to stay home and play all afternoon. Well, I hadn't considered how difficult that would be for an extended period of time given we have no sofas, limited furnishings, and few toys. By the time Toby got home from work, I was about to bounce off the walls! Sadly, I was ecstatic to leave the two of them here while I headed to pick up a nutritious pizza dinner.

Over the weekend Toby had class, so Haley and I headed north. We spent Saturday with my mom buying fabrics for various projects around the house. All of which will be monumental in transforming this place into our home. My favorite is Haley's room...I can't wait to finish it and show you pictures. On Sunday I drove to Atlanta to meet a friend from Knoxville. We rendezvoused at Bethel Church on the south side of town. I love Bethel Church from Redding, CA and this church is a plant that was started up about three years ago. The worship experience was amazing and totally worth the drive! Frequently during worship, I heard prayers of praise and thanksgiving going up all around me...some in English, some in tongues, but all in beautiful harmony. Several times I opened my eyes to see this worship, but I never saw anyone in particular moving their mouth. It was incredible! This must be what the prayers of the nations sound like!

Anyway, our sweet neighbor in Tennessee had gathered some necessities from our home and sent them to Atlanta with my friend. I was so excited to unpack these boxes today...Haley's bath toys and Auburn shaker...not things I had asked for, but sweet thoughts to make the transition a little easier. When we left Knoxville three weeks ago, we thought we would only be camping in our vacant Mobile house for 10 days, and so we packed accordingly. Our schedule changed later and it will still be another four weeks before the moving van pulls up here in south Alabama. The neat thing is that God is teaching us (again) that stuff really is irrelevant and that we really can get by just fine on much less than we often demand. Thank you, Jesus, for that sweet reminder.

Operation Cookie Dropoff has already shown fruit! Months ago, long before we ever made the move, I was fearful of how I would establish roots here. God clearly assigned five houses on our street and told me to start there. Last week I made cookies and delivered them to three of these houses. At one house I missed the wife and woke up the night shift, sleeping at the time, husband, but today the wife knocked on my door! As I opened the door she stood there with a huge smile and a plant in her hand! She was returning our cookie plate and had gone out of her way to buy us a plant and a card!! She didn't come in, as her car was running, but we chatted for a few minutes before she headed off. After she left I read her card and it was the most thoughtful note that expressed how excited she and her family are about our being here and how anxious she is to get to know us. Sweet Jesus, you are planting seeds and developing relationships already! Thank you for this incredible reciprocity of kindness! Now, I just pray that opportunities will become available (or that we will be proactive to make them available) for this relationship to grow and develop and for You to be glorified in the process! Two more houses to go...

One week down

We have made it through our first week in Mobile and I have to say that God has done a huge work in my heart over the last seven days. We hadn't been in town 24 hours before reality hit and homesickness settled in. Thanks to all of you who prayed for my heart, it only took another 24 hours before my sweet Jesus started to change my perspective...

Toby's job seems to be getting better and better. Every day he came home with more great news...there is hunting property attached to the plant (he loves to hunt, but rarely gets to), his boss has encouraged him to take off as much time as we need to move our furniture, he is clearly valued and they are excited to have him, and on and on. In fact, we met with a contractor this week who said, "There's a long line of people wanting to work at that place. The fact that they hired you says a lot about you." I say, Nah, it says a lot about how amazing, generous, and powerful my Jesus is!

Toby's first night of class was Tuesday night and for the next six weeks he will study the Mission and Message of Jesus. Being a christian university, this is a required course for all UM students so most of his classmates are business, education or nursing students. He is the only student in this class from the theology department. When asked to share a brief introduction in class, most people responded that they're only there because they have to be. Toby shared our story in a nutshell..."I was an engineer in Tennessee and God called us into ministry, so I quit my job, moved to Mobile, started a new job yesterday and tonight is my first class." He said most of the room held blank stares of disbelief. Already God is giving us a platform to proclaim His goodness and share our journey! The professor is a pastor who teaches on the side and it quickly became clear that his interest is not in tests and papers, but in sharing the gospel with these students. His goal is to make sure each student that passes through that campus knows who Jesus is and what He taught. Toby was so excited and blown away by the teaching that his enthusiasm was contagious and instantly brought me out of my funk when he got home. His excitement helped me to refocus...to take my attention off of me and my pity party and to remember why we're here. We are here to love on the people of Mobile, to proclaim His goodness and love, and to learn as much as we possibly can!

Most of my week was spent gathering materials for the massive house project list. When we did the work on this house three years ago, we cut a lot of corners and put in the cheapest possible stuff we could in order to save a buck. Now that we're living here, there's a lot that has to be addressed...funky wiring with the light switches, leaky plumbing in the bathrooms, etc, etc. We have also decided to put in some extras to maximize space like a new closet system in the master bedroom, a new cabinet in the master bathroom and a larger sink in the kitchen. Haley was such a trooper as we trekked across town and made endless trips to Wal-Mart and Lowe's this week. Toby's dad has come into town to visit and help with some of these projects, and after an incredibly productive weekend, this little house is feeling more like home every day. My favorite project this week, has definitely been Haley's new big girl bed! A friend in Knoxville had this bed for his son and when he outgrew it he graciously passed it on to us. She loves it! She is doing so well with her new big girl bed and is so proud of herself. Her excitement and ability to adjust to all of these changes has made this transition that much easier.

As the week has progressed, I have been able to focus a little more clearly on the people of Mobile. Sweet Jesus has put so many smiling faces in my way...kind words from a lady at the laundromat, Jesus talk from a contractor, and friendly chat at the store. All are simple reminders of Jesus' love for me and evidence that He is the God who sees. He sees me going through each day and wants to remind me that He is here, making a path for me and pouring out His love.

He has impressed on us that the coming months are to be a season of learning. Not just Toby's learning from school, but for both of us to learn as much as possible about full time ministry. In doing so, it is our goal to visit as many churches as possible and experience as many worship styles and teaching as possible. With church planting impressed on our hearts, we want to gather the best aspects from the body of Christ. We do not want denominational traditions to stand in the way of learning from other parts of the body. That being said, we scoured the internet for churches to visit. Through a series of circumstances, we ended up at a new church this morning and square in the presence of the Lord. We had never set foot in this church before, but as soon as the music began the Spirit fell thick and heavy!! We saw a few people heading to the open area in the front of the room and as the lyrics grew, so did the number of people and their praises. I stared in amazement as grown men in suits jumped up and down with their hands raised as their extravagant praises overwhelmed them! It didn't take but a few seconds for the Spirit to capture my heart and take me away to a place of beautiful praise. Lost in His presence, I felt Toby wrap his arm around me..."look over there." When I opened my eyes and looked to the side of the auditorium, I saw flags flying...beautiful banners waved in glorious praise to our Jesus. At the front of the alter was another set of flags. You have to know that I had never seen (or heard of) banners and flags being used in worship until that life changing women's retreat in Feb 2009. That was one of the things that began my journey to entering His presence with physical praise. Seeing those flags this morning was a sweet, precious gift from my Jesus as He proclaimed to me..."I am here and I am doing beautiful things here in Mobile. Come, and be part of it!" This congregation was like none I had ever seen before. We saw old, white haired people, young punk-looking kids, African Americans, Asians, Hispanics, suits, tshirts, preppy dresses and pearls. We heard people speaking in tongues, freely shouting His praises, and dancing in His presence. The two hours we spent in that place this morning is something I will treasure always. While we're not looking for a church home to plug into right now, that was a wonderful start to give us hope that Jesus beat us to Mobile in bringing glorious life to this city! I can't wait to see how we will fit into His revival here!

So what now? How do we start making new friends, sharing our story and our Jesus, and establishing a routine? The church we visited today just so happens to have a MOPS group (mothers of preschoolers). Because I was on the leadership team for this ministry at our church in Tennessee, this immediately caught my attention. Their first meeting of the year is this week and I am planning to attend. Also, many months ago God gave me five neighbors, houses all visible from my front door. He has told me to start there. We met the first neighbor two days ago...a sweet, retired grandmother who has lived here for years, but never met any other neighbors. This is confirmation that it will be our job to bring these people together. To build relationships right here on our street and pour out Jesus' love in any way we can. We'll start by delivering a plate of cookies and a smile and just wait to see where Jesus takes us from there...

It would be easy for me to get lost in my endless to do list and projects around the house...Satan would love for me to do that...to keep to myself and keep silent. But I know that God brought us here with a message...a message of love and hope that this city is in desperate need of hearing. The coming weeks will require huge steps for me to come out of my comfort zone and step into the awesome power of Jesus. To boldly knock on the front door of a stranger and share Jesus' love. It just so happens that I ran across this quote this morning...

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God! Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." -Marianne Williamson

So my challenge to you...and me...is to step out and let your light shine! If you are a child of the Most High God, who can stand against you?!? If you are not sure where to start or what to say, simply reflect on what you have experienced and what God has taught you. Nobody can take away your experiences. Proclaim the love and mercy you have experienced with confidence! As you take those steps of faith, know that I will be doing the same this week. I can't wait to share with you how it goes and I'd love to hear your story, too! Please feel free to leave a comment or email me with your experiences...So that they will know that HE is God!

Official Mobile residents

Well, it's official. We're Mobile residents...again. After a much needed week of rest and time with our families, we drove into town on Sunday afternoon. Monday was a day of busy beavers...we had new carpet installed, the internet connected, and the gas turned on. While all of that was going on Haley was playing with a friend and I started scrubbing. You know, 1100 sq ft may not seem like much until you scrub it Cinderella style. That's right, Toby and I scrubbed two years of gunk from the floor on our hands and knees until 11pm last night. But man, what a difference that made. We can now walk around barefoot in this house for the first time in three years! That alone makes this place feel a little more like home.

Since we had new carpet and hot water, we opted to spend the night at our new house last night. Our furniture will not arrive until the end of September, so we're "roughin it" in the meantime with air mattresses, a mini fridge and card table. I praise God that Haley hasn't missed a beat. Although she's been a bit more clingy than usual, she thinks this adventure is great...always talking about "goin' to the new house" and running through the empty place like it's her playground. She even slept in a big girl bed for the first time this afternoon. We figured while we're forcing her into this huge transition of a new house, we might as well make it a little bigger and take away her crib. So far it's going great...ask me in a few days if I'm still excited about it. :)

Our first night here was much more emotional for me than I expected. It all started when I went to Wal-Mart for a few last minute items while Toby brought Haley home. As I stood in the forever long line I looked around at the familiar store. I know that a Wal-Mart is a Wal-Mart, but I've learned lately...not so much. The Wal-Mart in fancy Farragut, TN was always well lit, clean, organized and fully stocked. The other shoppers and cashiers exchanged an easy smile and friendly greeting. Despite the usual chaos of any Wal-Mart, that shopping trip was almost always pleasant. The Wal-Mart here in Saraland was very unorganized and many of the shelves sat empty or roughly rummaged. It was rare to make eye contact with anyone, much less see a smile. At 8pm the atmosphere was chaotic with people yelling (not in anger, just a normal tone of conversation) at other members of their party or their children with lines stretched far into the open space. Now, I have never considered myself a "shopping snob" and have been proud to shop wherever I need to, regardless of the environment, but last night was a totally different experience. It was so overwhelmingly obvious that Satan has a hold on this city. Not just Saraland, but the whole county. Generally speaking, people are just more bitter here, and it's stifling. I know that this is one of the many reasons God has brought us back here. To be a bright and shining light for Jesus in this place. To spread His love like wildfire and watch Him melt hearts of stone. I can't wait for the adventure to unfold.

I can look at this objectively now, but on my way home last night, all I could think of was "I want to go home." Home to where we were surrounded by tons of godly people who loved us dearly. Home to where we had our routine and our church. Home to where we had a big, spacious, beautiful house. Even though we've been here before, this place we're living now is not home...not yet. I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that God has brought us here. And I know that He will make it okay.

Even in this state of homesickness, He has already given me some beautiful gifts...divine appointments to remind me of His love for me. Toby always worries about me when we have people come to the house to do work when he's not here, so naturally yesterday's events were unnerving for him. However, the carpet guys, the crew that was here most of the day, turned out to be a sweet Jesus gift. The two guys were 18 and 23, have laid carpet with their dad as long as they can remember, and were the nicest guys. In fact, they moved here from Athens, TN (not far from where we were) about five years ago because their daddy is a preacher and took on a pastorship not far from here. Coincidence? I think not. Another sweet moment...I went to campus this morning to get Toby's textbook for his class, and because traditional classes do not start until next week, the campus was a ghost town. While I was wandering around campus, looking for his classroom, I started chatting with the lone soul around. After a minute or two we made the connection that he's Toby's teacher! He gave me a copy of the syllabus, invited me to join the lectures any time, and even walked me to the bookstore and handed me the textbook I was looking for. Again...what are the odds that the one person I'd chat with on a vacant campus would be Toby's professor? My Jesus doesn't do coincidences...He set those people in my path to remind me that even though we've "made the big move" He's still here with me, walking me through every step of every day. He's not going to bring us this far and then walk away...that's simply not how He works.

So when the lonely days come and the homesick days seem unbearable, I will choose to remember that He will make all things good. He told me a few months ago..."you can't even imagine the amazing things I have planned for you." I'm clinging to that promise, and will remember that not too long ago we were new to Tennessee with no friends, no church and no routine and just look at how He blessed us then. I know He'll do it here as we start again...

Bittersweet Goodbyes

When we got word that Toby's company wanted to move us to Knoxville, my only reservation was meeting people. Haley was five weeks old and we had planned for me to stay home with her, so my career was inconsequential. My fear was being a new stay at home mom in a new city...how would I meet people? I feared I would be isolated with no outlet to make friends. Like I shared before, one of the things God has taught me is that He doesn't do anything half way. In less than two years, He blessed Toby and me with so many more friends than we could have ever expected. Almost all of our lasting friendships were birthed out of our involvement with our church. Toby got involved with the youth group and led a guys small group, I was asked to be on the leadership team of a mom's ministry, we both led a young families small group and of course, there were my precious Boothmakers.

We knew that leaving Tennessee would be hard. In fact, left on our own we would have never moved back to Mobile. We enjoyed our time there, but Knoxville was totally different. The seasons, weather and landscape are incomparable. The culture is so inviting. Generally speaking, the people are warm, kind and friendly. We were proactive in seeking out relationships and God blessed us with tons of friends...people who we will always be connected to...either in this life or the next.

When we moved to Knoxville, saying goodbye to our friends in Mobile was fairly surreal. I cried a little, but for the most part I was so excited about the move that I kind of glided past that part. It wasn't until I sat in our apartment in Tennessee for the first time and looked around did I realize we had actually moved to a different state. Having only lived in Alabama (granted, all over Alabama but always within the state borders), residing in another state with no family anywhere around was a shock to my system. So when it came time to say goodbye to our new Tennessee friends I expected the transition to be the same. Granted, I'm sure I will still have moments of shock and adjustment once we move into the little house, the goodbyes were much harder than I thought they would be. When I take stock of the last two years, I am amazed at the bonds Jesus formed. Not only was I terribly sad to leave the people who had been so instrumental in transforming my life, I was shocked and humbled to see them sad to see us leave. I knew we were great friends, but to see our departure truly effect others was surprising to me. Jesus has been so sweet to give us these relationships and I know they will continue on because what binds us together is not a job, or a neighborhood, or a common interest...it's Jesus, the creator of the universe. With Him as our center, these bonds will last an eternity.

As we drove across the state line yesterday, I searched for the "Welcome to Alabama the Beautiful" sign. Having always been an Alabama resident, this sign posted at every state border was always comforting to see when we traveled. I have lived all over Alabama...Birmingham, Huntsville, Mobile, Montgomery, and Auburn...this state has always been home. While we truly loved every minute of living in Tennessee, an indescribable peace came over me as I saw my sign...Welcome Home! It was the latest in a long list of confirmations from Jesus, that we are indeed on the right path. We're not making this up, or blowing some crazy dream out of proportion...Jesus has called us home.

And yes, I was driving when I took this picture. Don't worry...Toby has already fussed at me about it! (But for the record, I think it turned out pretty good for going 70 mph.)

Blessings during the waiting

While we waited...and waited, sweet Jesus provided us manna and helped us to feel like we were making forward progress. It seems each week He would give me one task to focus one. One week it would be submitting registration materials for Toby's school, or making contacts about refinancing the little house, or researching local deals in Mobile. Sweet Jesus knows me so well. If He had given me one huge to-do list, I would have panicked.

The biggest assignment He gave us was our yard sale. As part of releasing our security in "stuff" lots of things had to go. Nothing detrimental, but clutter, excess, things we really didn't need and could live without. This project took on a life of its own. Each week I would focus on a different closet or room to clean out. This was my purging time to go through all kinds of junk we'd been moving from city to city. I also began to accumulate a huge pile of stuff that was "yard sale worthy." Not knowing where the funds for our moving expenses or Toby's tuition were going to come from, we sold all kinds of mess in hopes of earning what we needed.

One of my friends knew we were working toward having this sale and brought up a proposition..."We have a bunch of stuff in a storage unit. Will you sell it in your yard sale and you can just keep the money?" Uh, sure...I'll take your junk off your hands...we can use as much help as we can get. When Toby and I showed up at their house to pick up the "junk" I was floored at what was waiting for us...two beds, a slot machine, a curio cabinet, a TV, a chest of drawers, a bookshelf, a bedspread and linens, curtains, a bicycle, a mountain of precious moments figurines, tons of books, and on and on. This pile was not junk. It was very functional and valuable. When we asked why they didn't sell the stuff themselves, the answer was humble, "God told us a long time ago that this stuff was suppose to go to somebody who needed it." We were completely blown away at this gift.

Instead of waiting for the yard sale, we decided to list the big stuff on Craigslist. That alone turned into a full time job, but I welcomed the distraction and somewhere to put my energy. I set up a little photo studio in my garage, posted all the items, managed tons of emails coming in, and met buyers all over town. As a stay at home mom, it felt good to be able to put forth energy to earn money for our family and this calling.

Our best friends from Mobile made the eight hour drive to Knoxville to help us with the yard sale. She is as organized as me, so we worked well together all day on Friday getting ready for the big day. We were up and moving at 4:30AM (a sacrifice in itself) to set up for the early birds, and they showed up on the scene at 6AM on the nose! From that point on, people constantly flowed through our sale and were still coming at 2PM when we started to shut it down. At the end of the day, combined with our Craigslist sales, we had earned over $2,500! God is so good! This would easily pay for a U-Haul and Toby's first semester of tuition! God's mercy and abundance showed up in a huge way that day.



Please do not think that every moment of every day was filled with joy and excitement and hope for a beautiful journey. I think I can say honestly, that most of our journey has been that way, but I certainly had my weak moments. I can't count how many times I found myself in a puddle on the floor weeping for Jesus to just give me the answers! Often these times came when I was alone, but Toby saw a handful of them. Often he was wonderful to simply sit with me and let me cry. He knew he didn't have the answers I wanted. I wanted to know how all of this would end. I wanted to know that everything was going to be okay, we would be able to pay our bills, and have more babies. I wanted to visualize what life might look like six months down the road. At this point, I had no idea other than we would be living in our little flip house. I didn't know where, or if, Toby would be working. I didn't know if I would have to go back to work or what would happen with Haley during the day. And most heartbreaking of all, I didn't know if we would be in a financial position to have any more children soon. My heart has always desired to have a big family and my dream has always been for them to be two years or so apart...Haley was now 20 months and pregnancy was nowhere in sight.

During these moments of helplessness, Jesus often gave me songs to meditate on. I called them my theme songs. I would play them over and over and over as I laid on the floor and stared into space. No matter how helpless I felt, I always walked away from those moments with a few more breadcrumbs to cling to. Jesus always met me there, and like Toby, just let me cry...He never gave me the answers I wanted, but He knew I was sad and wanted nothing more than to comfort me and reassure me that everything would in fact be okay...if for no other reason than He is going with us to Mobile. I have come to understand that His presence is truly all I need. I don't need a big income, or even more children...I just need Him.

Here are some of my "theme songs"
Rita Springer, "Worth it all"
John Waller, "While I'm waiting"
Anthony Skinner, "I will be alright"

Waiting is the hardest part

May 2009...The recruiter had reported that no one was hiring in Mobile. He'd called all of his contacts and there simply were no engineering jobs to be had. Strangely, this wall started to wear on Toby's confidence. Even though he was very well qualified for nearly any job available, the lack of options was hard to accept. However, the internship opportunity turned into a meeting with the executive pastor, so we eagerly loaded up and headed south. While we were in town we planned to install blinds and paint the kitchen and Haley's room. I was shocked at how far that work took the flip house from being some vacant property to our home. Suddenly I could visualize us living here and raising our family here.

Toby was scheduled to meet with the executive pastor on Sunday and on the Friday before he received a call from the recruiter while we painted. There was an opening for a job in Pensacola and they were eager to meet him. This was thrilling news and a huge boost for Toby. Although it would mean a two hour commute each day, it was a job that would support us and something in us just couldn't let that idea go.

Toby's meeting with the executive pastor went wonderfully. He left there very encouraged about the opportunity. He would serve in and be exposed to many different areas of ministry and gain valuable experience. He left the meeting having heard, "the job's yours if you want it." The only downside was that it was a 20/hr a week job earning minimum wage. Hmm...that's not quite going to cut it. We would need additional income from somewhere and the logical answer was for me to return to work as an accountant. Knowing the Pensacola company wanted an interview, we asked for a month to pray and think things through and the pastor graciously obliged. So we waited...

We waited nearly a month before the promised interview in Pensacola rolled around. In the meantime I approached my former CPA firm about the possibility of returning part time. Because I'd left on such great terms when Haley was born, I arrogantly assumed I could go back whenever I wanted. None the less we continued to pray for God to close doors He didn't want us walking through. After a week of waiting and a partners meeting, I received word that the firm simply didn't have enough work to hire on any additional staff at the time. A strange sense of peace came over me during that phone call. That's a pretty firmly closed door and so there's really nothing to say but accept the closed door and wait for God's explanation.

So we continued to wait...some times more patiently than others...

This was probably the hardest part of this entire journey for me. Being a "type A" planner, I really need to know what we're getting into and how to prepare for it. But God just doesn't seem to work on my schedule sometimes. Go figure? There were so many days that I felt like we had waited so long and had come so far, yet we really didn't know any more than we did on day 1. People would excitedly ask us how things were going and what was happening, and often I was embarrassed to say, "Nothing new...still waiting." On several occasions I would have breakdowns about how all of this was going to turn out. I honestly didn't care what He asked us to do for a living (engineering, internship, accounting, or waiting tables), I just wanted to fast forward six months to where everything was laid out and we were settled in our new life. I was tired of not knowing how to plan and prepare. I felt helpless and without any answers. I know now, at the end of this season, that there was a purpose to the waiting and He had a lot He still wanted me to learn before the "big reveal". During that time, He gave me several verses to cling to...

"Lead me in Your truth and teach me, For You are the God of my salvation; For You I wait all the day" Psalm 25:5

"Let integrity and uprightness preserve me, For I wait for You." Psalm 25:21

"Wait for the Lord; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the Lord." Psalm 27:14

This word, wait, is "qavah" in Hebrew and it means to bind together by twisting, patiently, tarry, to expect. I think my heart is best expressed in an excerpt from my journal: "As we wait for answers, I want to bind myself to You. I want to be patient and not jump ahead of Your timing, and I want to be expectant for what amazing thing You are working on. Help me to remember and understand that You do not operate on this world's time table and Your ways are not my ways - they are higher and they are far better."

In the end, I know there was a purpose for the waiting. Toby and I both had to be willing, truly willing in the depths of our gut, to do whatever God asked us to do and with a smile on our faces. Even if it meant skimping by on minimum wage. Once we came to that place of total surrender, He lowered His hands to say, "Now, let me show you what I want to give you..."

Selling a house in a stalled market...no easy task

Our third mountain was selling our house in Tennessee. Strangely, I was never worried about this one, but it's what kept Toby up at night. Even if we did land a great part time job in Mobile, we wouldn't be able to support two mortgages without his engineering salary. Fully expecting to be scrimping by in Mobile and still needing to pay for Toby's tuition, the obvious choice (in our minds, at least) was to sell our house "by owner" and avoid the hefty 6% realtor commission. On a Wednesday I made cute little flyers and prepared to buy a sign and flyer box for the yard the next day.

Thursday morning my eyes flew open and for the first time since the detour began I was overwhelmed by stress. I don't know anything about selling a house!! What were we thinking? Sure, I had planned to scour the Internet for information and tips, but the paperwork and legal jargon alone scared me. Ignoring my instincts, I plowed ahead with the day's to-do list. My first stop of the day was a leadership meeting for a moms group I served on. We hadn't told many people about our detour at this point, but this morning I was set to announce we were leaving and to share the excitement with my friends. Teary out of the reality of leaving the relationships we'd built, I shared every detail we had to date. They were shocked, but excited and supportive. Just then, a realtor friend sitting across from me grabbed my hand and asked, "Have you listed your house yet?" I don't know how to tell you that I don't want to pay your fat commission... I mustered, "Not yet." Her eyes lit up and she said, "Let me list it for you. I will put it on MLS...and I won't charge you a commission." Silence. I just stared at her, my mind racing in a million different directions, I couldn't verbalize anything. I simply collapsed in tears. To think hours earlier that the details of selling our house were consuming me and that I hadn't mentioned anything about selling our house by owner, to anyone...Jesus definitely knows where we are and used this friend to speak peace over me and provide an incredible gift! My prayer for her is that God will return the blessing...

Our neighborhood is fairly small with only a few different floor plans. Most of the houses have the same hardwood flooring, the same counter tops and finishes. Within two weeks of putting our house on the market, 5 more flew up in competition. God had specifically given us the list price and it was significantly below the other houses available in our neighborhood. Seeing that the houses were so similar in size and layout, surely we would snag the first buyer! Days after listing our house we had a showing...another showing...and an offer! This is amazing! We waited anxiously for word from our realtor, but she was not nearly as excited as I expected her to be. The offer we received was low...very low. Now we're in quite a pickle. God had been very clear about our list price, but here was a buyer and so quickly. Given the sluggish market, this buyer had to come from God, didn't they? We negotiated back and forth, but in the end decided to hold tight to the list price we were given. It was incredibly difficult to watch this buyer walk away. What if that was our one buyer God sent us, and we were greedy and sent them away?

Over the next 5 months we would entertain only 10 more showings. A painful reality and a stark reminder that this mountain was completely out of our control. We had no choice but to wait on the Lord. In May, two months after we listed our house, I was driving in from errands and saw a "Pending" sign on a neighbor's house. Shock ran through my bones, quickly followed by anger. As I pulled into our garage, I clearly heard Jesus say, "Do you trust me?" He was so clear that I actually looked at the passenger seat in search of the voice. I had to surrender...again. My mantra through this season had become, "I will trust You" and this was simply another facet of trust.

Around that time we sat in church on a Sunday morning and celebrated as our leadership announced another family's calling to serve an orphanage in Jamaica. The husband humbly shared how God had confirmed their calling and the statement that stuck with me was, "God brought us a buyer for our house within two weeks of listing it." Something in my spirit cringed, but Jesus was ready with a reassuring response. Just as clearly as He spoke in my car, He said, "It's not going to be that way for you...it's going to be different." Hmm, my sarcasm snuck in, of course it will be different, we've already been waiting for two months!! I quickly regretted my bad attitude and knew that's not what He meant. But I was just more confused. What does "different" mean? It would be another two months before He defined it...