New traditions

As I shared with you last year, Toby and I have adopted a less than traditional approach to Christmas. We hope to teach our children that Christmas is foremost about Jesus and His gift of Himself...presents are secondary. Our goal is that as our children grow up, their behavior and excitement is not focused on material possessions, but rather on Jesus and others.

Haley is now 3 and starting to understand a little more, so we worked hard this Christmas to start some new family traditions. Because this is a different approach than how Toby and I were raised, we're kind of going with the flow and "making it up" as we go along. Sweet Jesus has been good to guide our steps.

My MOPS group held a cookie exchange a few weeks before Christmas and consequently we came home with far more cookies than any one family needs. So, we bought some cute Christmas tins, divided them up and set out to bless our neighbors. I know that one of the reasons God put us in this neighborhood was to develop relationships with our neighbors...I think we get a B...we've done ok, but we could do better. These cookies were a great reminder that it's not about the cookies at all. People are blown away that you simply thought about them.

A few weeks before Christmas we took the kids to a local church for their "Bethlehem experience." They had built a little city inside plywood walls and truly we were transported to another time. As we entered the city, they treated us as if we were traveling to Bethlehem for the census, 2000 years ago. Our tour guide showed us around town, introducing us to the local baker and carpenter, sharing rumors of a special baby that had been born. We experienced the town with all of our senses: feeling the swaddling cloths new mothers used to wrap their babies, smelling the spices commonly available, and tasting the freshly baked bread. At the end the innkeeper excitedly led us to his stable where the Messiah had just been born. When we stepped out the back door, I was sad to see it end. I had to remind myself that it was all just a reenactment, but for the briefest time we got a glimpse into Bethlehem on that fateful night.

On Christmas Eve, we recruited the family to help us reenact our own Christmas story. I found a great script online and edited it to fit the cast we had available. Haley didn't have a speaking part since she can't read yet, but rest assured she'll be stealing the show next year. She did, however, help with the props. She loaned two of her stuffed sheep to Pop, our shepherd. She helped wrap presents in birthday paper for our wise person, adorned with a Burger King crown, to bring Jesus, and she proudly wore a white princess costume to serve as our angel.

My mom and Bob, graciously served as Mary and Joseph.
(Note the "stable animals" in the background.)

In the spirit of giving, after our pageant we each took a minute to share what God had given us this year. Because He is the giver of all good gifts, I wanted us to focus on and give thanks to Him for blessing us beyond measure. These gifts ranged from a deeper relationship with Him to moving cross-country to financial blessings to health, healing and safety. As our kids get older, I hope to incorporate an offering of their talents in this tradition. I have visions of watercolor masterpieces and dance performances in my living room, all in an effort to serve Him with what He's already given us.

In future years I hope to move some of these celebrations to Christmas morning, but since Christmas fell on a Sunday this year we had to rearrange. This year we had the bonus of worshiping our Savior with our church family on Christmas morning. Before heading out to church we started the day just like we did on Haley's birthday...with birthday cake and candles. We sang happy birthday to Jesus and Haley anxiously blew out His candles. She was so excited, she could barely contain herself. And of course, because Jesus lavishes good gifts on us, we opened a few gifts too. For those of you who are curious, Haley's big presents were a baby doll bed and an art easel. I foresee hours of fun.

Haley proudly blowing out Jesus' birthday candles.

So there's our Christmas. We had a wonderful celebration and I pray you did, too. If you have any fun celebration ideas, I'd love to hear them. Please feel free to comment on this post or email me anytime. Merry Christmas!

Christmas memories

I love to have a visual of the people and places I read about. Ok, Toby calls me nosy, but either way I realize that I haven't shared many family pictures with you...so late Merry Christmas! I hope you enjoy a glimpse into our Christmas holiday. Thanks for following me this past year and I'm looking forward to many great things in 2011!

Making Christmas cookies at Granny's house.


Chef Haley working on cookie masterpieces.


Christmas cookies.
The kids put forth a fair effort, but wimped out pretty quickly. Aunt Susan and I finished off the rest.


Our visit with Santa wasn't as successful as I'd hoped. Haley was fine to watch him from a distance, but wasn't too excited to sit with him. (Go figure...not sure I'd want to sit on some stranger's lap either.) After getting a candy cane early and sitting with Mommy, we finally got a calm picture with Santa. Had I known I would be in the shot, I wouldn't have worn hot pink...lesson learned.
MiMi made Haley's Christmas dress with the help of Granny and Aunt Susan. One of my goals for 2011 is to learn to sew with confidence.


Haley had a Toy Story Christmas. Here she is with Buzz, Woody, Jessie, and Bullseye tucked under her Buzz and Woody blanket, all piled inside her blow up Toy Story tent. It's so fun to watch her imagination as she makes new "friends".


Haley playing in the backyard. One of my new favorite pictures of her.


Mommy and Haley at the Bellingrath Gardens Christmas in Lights.


Me and my love, Toby, enjoying the lights.


Toby and Carey


Finally, a decent family picture...aka Haley is smiling in the direction of the camera, the rest of us are irrelevant.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Redeeming Santa

Now that we are parents and have reached the Christmas season, the question of Santa as come up again. Growing up, both Toby and I were fully engulfed in the magic of Santa and his flight around the world delivering presents. The thrill and anticipation was almost unbearable on Christmas Eve.

Now that it's our turn to set Christmas traditions for our family, we've discussed how we want to approach it. I assumed we would teach our children all about Santa, elves, the North Pole, and all the magic that Christmas entails. I was shocked the year Haley was born when Toby said, "I'm not sure about the whole Santa thing." What?!? "I just don't think I can lie to my kids like that." I thought the idea was ridiculous, but seeing as how Haley was four months old that Christmas, we decided it wasn't that big of a deal that year and so we swept it under the rug. This year, Haley is 2 and while she doesn't really get it, she understands that people are giving her presents and that is SO much fun! Again, we don't have to make the call this year, but we know next year is going to be a whole different ball game.

We recently stumbled on a article that perfectly articulates how we've been feeling...click here to read it. Did you read it? You really need to read it to understand where I'm going...go on...it's a short read.

So, now that you've read that article, what do you think? We love his point of distinguishing between pretend and dress up and lying. Just as there is nothing wrong with watching the story of Ariel, the make-believe mermaid princess, there is no harm in telling the stories of Santa. The jolly fellow our culture has created is pretend and it's a fun story to tell. We fear that the danger comes from selling this make-believe story as truth. As a parent, I would never want my children to lie to me, and as their example of Christ, I should not lie to them either. The more I've thought about this and prayed about it over the last few weeks, the more unsettled I become with telling my children a bold face lie. I just can't do it. But our entire country seems to embrace this lie! It's ingrained in our cultural make up. So now what do we do? I don't really want to be seen as one of those parents who sucks all the fun out of Christmas, but I'm not ok with going along with the fable.

Now, before you get all in a tissy...I am not saying we will not celebrate Christmas or participate in present exchanges or stuffing stockings. I simply want my children to reside in truth...related to all things. In this instance, St. Nicholas was a real person. He did wonderful, generous things and we should celebrate his life and the example he left for us. From that perspective, Santa is wonderfully giving and his generosity should be duplicated. However, we will not tell our children that the presents on Christmas morning magically appeared in the middle of the night from a jolly man who flew around the world with his reindeer. They will know that their family has provided these gifts for them out of their love for them, and honestly, I doubt that knowledge will diminish any of the fun of Christmas.

As I've pondered this whole Santa idea, I've thought a lot about how do we turn the focus from the presents and the busyness to Christ...the reason for celebrating in the first place. We have to admit that the glowing tree and abundant wrapped presents can easily take center stage this time of year. And while attending a Christmas program at church, reading the birth story from Luke and playing with the nativity scene are nice things to turn our attention to Him, they often get overshadowed by the glamour of the gifts. So, as I prayed over this, God gave me the neatest idea! On Christmas morning, before any presents are opened, we are going to give Jesus His presents first! "What present?" you ask...the present of ourselves. All He's ever asked for is our hearts, so we will take His birthday to commemorate all that we have given Him throughout the year. The idea is to start a few weeks before Christmas and gather pictures and remember times that we have served Him...with our time, our talents, our money, our love...and make a card or a book to show these gifts. In addition, I would like to remember and celebrate all of the gifts God has given us...from the basic necessities of life to miraculous answered prayers. I have visions of years to come of my kids working diligently on their gifts, and on Christmas morning, we will each (Toby and I included) share how God has loved others through us, how we have allowed Him to use our lives for His glory, and how He has given so generously to us throughout the past year.

"What if we get to Christmas and we don't have anything to share?" Toby asked. Well, I think that's where our responsibility as parents kicks in. We need to be aware, year round, of opportunities for our family to serve others. Whether it be serving dinner at a homeless shelter, sharing Christ with a neighbor, helping another kid on the playground, giving allowance money to the church or a friend in need, or simply spending time with each other and offering encouraging words. I recognize this will require a bit of organization...a handy camera to catch a loving moment, a notebook to jot down memorable conversation, and a journal to document God's guidance and answered prayers so that these events easily come to mind at the year's end.

At the end of the day, Toby and I have learned a valuable lesson in our two short years of parenting...every family has to do what is right for their family, and deserves to do so without enduring the judgment of others. This applies to all areas of parenting...from breastfeeding, to bed time routines, to discipline, to education choices, to Christmas celebrations. There are a million ways to raise a child in a loving, God-fearing home and we recognize that each child is different. In the vast majority of situations, there is no right or wrong way, no better or worse way. There's only the way that works best for each family. For us, we have decided to celebrate Christ's birth by giving Jesus our time and talents, by remembering a Godly man called St. Nick, and by exchanging a few (not a ridiculous pile) meaningful gifts. I hope you are intentional as well to develop Christmas traditions that will draw your family closer to the best gift of all...sweet Jesus!

Merry Christmas!!